In order to keep this weblog hip & modern, to continue to appear to the younger generation of bloggers, I'm spearheading the initiative to introduce several new magazine DEPARTMENTS. Earlier this month, I inaugurated The Department of Beards. Sadly, in recent developments, I have lost my beard, but I & my co-correspondents will continue to chronicle all things Beard at www.itwaslost.org. Today, I am proud to roll out the New Department of Arnophilia. A recurring theme at this website, starting with a discussion of the word "arnophilia", as used in Thomas Pynchon's Against the Day (on page 211) & as defined in the Wiktionary: the only reference they found was the Pynchon. Then, there has been some art by Olaf Mary (pictured above & originally posted here), & a series of quasi-arnophiliacal Christmas compositions to the Nahum Tate text "While shepherds watch'd their sheep by night / All seated on the ground", called Different Shepherds. Seated on the ground, ahem, at the very least. There have been some letters to the editor that we should explore the themes of arnophilia in closer scrutiny, exploit this great word, possibly eventually with its own spin-off blog. (DISCLAIMER: No way should it be concluded that any of the contributers to itwaslost.org are arnophiliacs, or that we advocate the unfair practice thereof, merely that we are bold enough to peer past margins of society & nature where more timid blogs fear to travel.) Look for more postings at the Department of Arnophila (added to the sidebar below) as 2009 expands! I leave you with Billy Connolly:
January 31, 2009
INTRODUCING: Department of Arnophilia
January 30, 2009
◘◘◘◘◘◘ Let Jǽnuary end in Stylę ◘◘◘◘◘◘
Grainne, did you see the art by Maira Kalman at the New York Times? called "The Inauguration. At last", it's up your alley.A day of hegemony & reflection.
Let us drink boxed chardonnay & pray that Annalee comes over tomorrow.
Mr Mary, we've almost posted as many posts in January 2009 as I did in all 2006, well on track to reach 616 this year (which would need 51 a month.)
◘◘◘◘◘◘ Here! ◘◘◘◘◘◘
The Doody Family (click picture)
I love recessions when I hear about adversely affected rich people. And foreclosed McMansions or defaulted auto loans, which is nothing to be sad about. Oh, you wanted a master bedroom with 20ft. ceilings? Sustainable.
Manchester City soccer club (the blue team, not to be confused with Manchester United, which is the more popular red team) failed last week to sign Kaká, not to be confused with caca. The accent marks are there to help.
In superlative terms, the world’s richest sports club failed to sign the world’s second best player in what would have been the most expensive work contract ever. Does recession lead to sensibility?
You must click the picture for completely unrelated news out of Wolverhampton, England.
Thirteen Short Run-on Movie Reviews
I haven't been fulfilling my obligations as blog movie critic, so here goes, each in one run-on sentence or less:
Tootsie: I love hanging out with Dustin Hoffman & Bill Murray, a great script & some retro feminism, unsatisfactory ending.
God Grew Tired of Us: The Lost Boys of the Sudan come to America, these kids are charming heroes, I only watched the second half.
Being There: A middle aged Peter Sellers is a cloistered retard let loose in scary Washington D.C., nothing about this movie works, cringy enough to turn it off.
John Hughes: This man directed only eight movies, from 1984 to 1991 - Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes Trains & Automobiles, She's Having a Baby, Uncle Buck, & Curly Sue; as well as the screenplays for Pretty in Pink & Some Kind of Wonderful - Every one of those a hit or worthy in its own right. What happened to him? Since then, it seems like he's done nothing but write the screenplays for the Beethoven & Home Alone sequels. I propose a retrospective of his work to resolve this mystery.
Once Upon the Time in the West: Still breathtaking on its fifth or sixth viewing, I'm always awed at the most slow-paced movies, like this & Kubrik's, which are always gripping & stay fun for three hours.
Enchanted: If we can put our 21st Century confusion about the Disney Princess Movie on hold, this movie works as a successful lampoon of itself, held together by the charismatic heroine Amy Adams. I especially love the Central Park big song-&-dance number.
A Star Is Born (1976): Worth watching just for Barbara Streisand's outfits, but I think she made Kris Kristofferson's character too kind & sweet, it would have been more dramatic if he was crueler. Streisand is such a weird leading lady.
The Jazz Singer (1980): Neil Diamond is so great on camera, he should have done more of these flicks, the best highlight is the non-sequitorial wandering around America bit in Act Three; plus, it took me ninety minutes to recognize Laurence Olivier as Diamond's disproving Rabbi father.
Leatherheads: George Clooney's attempt to make a Coen Brothers Comedy, it's a bit forgettable but the slapstick humor is first rate, & I appreciate the glimpse into Football's shaggy beginnings.
The Visitor: Thomas McCarthy's first movie was "The Station Agent", made excellent by the superb midget actor Peter Dinklage (who recently got to date Tina Fey in 30 Rock); don't accidentally rent The Visitor, it's one long politically-correct suck-fest.
Tropic Thunder: I was pretty drunk when I watched this movie, & my friend was attacking her lover, I would definitely watch it again, wait, shit, I forgot I already reviewed this movie.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: It got mediocre reviews when it came out & There Will Be Blood got great press; but I declare quite uncontroversially that TWBB was overhyped melodramatic flubber & The Assassination was cool & powerful.
Iron Man: Satisfying as a hollywood movie but unsatisfying as a superhero flick, the sequel will need better car chases.
The Hallelujah Trail: My favorite epic cowboy comedy.
Spring! Couture!- this ain't 1933
Oh Spring. I'm so glad you will be here in three months, which is why the spring collections are now coming down the runways.
the first thing I am obligated to disclose here is that I have excluded quite a few black white and gray and more black spring collections from this post (notably jean-paul Gaultier and Chanel). it's not really because they're not good, so much as just that I think it's a sensitive moment for fashion, what with the global economy going to shit and everything. The question may be, how will we dress when we are poor and unemployed?
I have to admit that I've drawn inspiration in my life from the following quote:
"work has wasted more human life and happiness, and cemented the foundations of more inhuman wrong, misery, and oppression, than ever could the combined forces of war, physics and bad whiskey"
this from a depression era hobo named 'Red' as quoted in a book called knights of the road. So let's look on the brightside of widespread unemployment, shall we?
The idea I had, which apparently Alexis Mabille (red men's suit with purple shoes) had as well, is to celebrate, even if that doesn't make any sense.
I prefer this to those properly serious black and white collections. Can humanity survive without color? must we bum ourselves out any more than the forces of market economics which are beyond our control are bumming us out already?
Others who, like me, have opted to seek refuge in fantasy and irrational joy for the spring of the '09 abyss-oops I mean year- are...
Armani Prive- for instance, the Purple jacket, yellow pants, unabashed spring flower, slightly humorous ensemble at left....
and certainly that crazy Christian LaCroix- fabulous polka dots , bright big prints, clothes that look like Children's bedrooms re-assembled-
We may be poor, but let us not neglect to be fabulous.
Song of the Shisha
There have been missed opportunities, girls I should have approached at the train station,
Some leave it behind after college graduation,
Some men always found it too fruity, or thought it was necessary to be South-West Asian,
There have been losses & mistakes, times I should have agreed to take the bottom bunk,
Hear, my water pipe has saved me from the plantation,
And tho some women are lousy earthquakes, I will remain down on this carpet seated cross-legged like a Japanese monk.
Sacramento has come & gone, & lo, the stars are all the brighter for it,
Some men find it inappropriate in the workplace,
Come the eclipse, & hide behind the sun & moon, tell it to the whores at night court.
This universe is not quite at my level, I’d sell you saved coals, if it wasn’t simony,
My secret place uncovered at the ocean’s lowest phase.
Please don’t tell these ancient whores Nevada’s laws of patrimony.
A true man is still sucking at the nargileh’s proboscis,
And blowing rings into the room.
That man will be seated beside me, we are in the city’s last remaining smoking oasis,
The air is thick with aromatic incense, lit dimly with my oily abdomen’s glistening,
Tobacco has this power & so it is the third-hand fume,
My new wife is monologing about her quirky parents, & today I am listening.
I am lightheaded but I can still walk home,
And curtain down on the creator’s theater, I will carry you to the quarry.
Fall far down into the crater, reach up & grasp this chance while I’m offering it,
Gilt in chrome, freshly polished from the second womb,
This hookah is for the present: smoke it like you mean it.
January 29, 2009
Video: Burns Night 250 song: "You're Welcome, Willie Stewart"; &, a Story in Eleven Narrative Photographs
I'll keep uploading video remembrances of our Robert Burns Night suppers, despite the cruel reviews from previous years' YouTubes. The two comments from 2008 were "ugh" & "OMG You guys suck!" This year's offering is "You're Welcome, Willie Stewart".
January 28, 2009
New Art
Burns Night 250 Review: “Cock Up Your Beaver”, From Peniston, England, to East Breast, Scotland
The Mimosas Witnesses Burns Night 2009 took place at Lake Tahoe, complete with silly hats, vegan haggis, copious amounts of good Scotch, dancing, many songs & cigars. Some unique moments in this year’s festivities, the mandatory reading of Burns’ epic “Tam O’Shanter” was sung to about two dozen different tunes, from “New York, New York” to 
“O Tannenbaum” to “Modern Major General”. It didn’t help comprehension of the great poem, but it was loud. Even tho I had made several of the speeches & toasts already, I lost the foot-roshambo & had to also do the “Address to the Lassies”, the contents of which I still feel shivers of remorse about (I believe the final declaration was “Why don’t you lose some weight?”) The Reply from the Lassies was done in every-other-word fashion from Miss Williams & Mrs Eley-Nelson, & turned out far more elegant & coherent.
The next day, The New York Times had an article about unfortunately-named places in Britain (& road signs that say things like “BUTT HOLE ROAD”), the meanings of which are on the wrong side of history. They provided this handy map. This is relevant to our favorite Burns Poem, which Mr Tomas recited at Burns Night, captured for posterity on YouTubes.
January 27, 2009
People Caught in Pictures
Virtue People 
Oriane People 
People in Derbyshire Following a Wedding
People on an Adventure
People Sleeping with their new Tiny People
January 26, 2009
MULTNOMAH - Illuminated Shape-Note Score & mp3 of a read-thru
I wrote this song after I had been singing in Multnomah County, Oregon. & many Portland Singers came down to San Carlos, California, for the All-California Sacred Harp Convention Convention. & afterwards to a new music reading at Mark Miller's house in Berkeley, which was the first time this song has been read thru. Only the first & last verses are in this mp3 of the reading. The first, third, & fifth verses are from Isaac Watts. The illumination on the score is by Pele. Download a pdf of the score here.
MULTNOMAH
Fools never raise their thoughts so high
Like brutes they live, like brutes they die
Like grass they flourish till thy breath
Blasts them in everlasting, lasting death.
And congressmen who feign their faiths
Elected, spread the empty grace,
Like eggplants, poison till their fried,
They are forgotten past the last divide.
But I shall share a glorious part
When grace hath well refined my heart
And fresh supplies of joy are shed
Like holy oil, to cheer, to cheer my head.
All twelve dimensions will collapse!
Perceptions read omniscient maps,
My savior on Columbian soil
Will swap our peasant rags for garments royal.
Then I shall see & hear & know.
All I desired & wished below
And ev'ry pow'r find sweet employ
In that eternal world of, world of joy.
January 25, 2009
Burns Night 250 Preview: Neeps, Tatties, Vegan Haggis
We're throwing our annual Robert Burns Night supper, this year in Lake Tahoe. We spent the afternoon snowshoeing from in fresh powder. Burns was born in 1759, so this Robert Burns Day marks his 250th birthday. It is also Mr Quill's Birthday! Hoorah!
A full & glitteringly written itinerary for a Burns Night supper is provided by RobertBurns.org, I recommend it. I have several adapted versions of Burns songs which have developed over the years, including "Gorgeous Borges:" ("Borges was a Gorgeous Boy / Gorgeous Borges, Georgeous Borges..." &c., to the tune of Rantin' Rovin' Robin - - see video below for the original 2004 Burns Night performance), & one of the anthems for the Mimosas Witnesses, "Morning Mimosa", to the tune of "No Churchman am I" aka "Big Belly'd Bottle". We'll work our way thru all the standard poetry (Ode to a Mouse, Tam o'Shanter, et cetera) as well as a few personal favorites, such as Cock up your Beaver:
When first my brave Johnie lad came to this town,
He had a blue bonnet that wanted the crown;
But now he has gotten a hat and a feather,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
Cock up your beaver, and cock it fu' sprush,
We'll over the border, and gie them a brush;
There's somebody there we'll teach better behaviour,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!
The recipe for vegan haggis I'm using this afternoon is here, it's basically a lentil loaf. Any complaints about not using proper haggis can be sent to the governor's office in Alaska: veggie haggis has a long & rich tradition in Scotland, & it's also damned near impossible to procure real haggis in California. Miss Williams & Mrs Eley-Nelson will be in charge of the Neeps & Tatties. (I learned, Mr Mary, that what the brits refer to as turnips are in this country called rutabegas, now we know.)January 24, 2009
Curling Jokes
We have come East to Tahoe to sled, & the weather is a little nasty. There was some dramatic sledding this morning at the summit of Mount Rose Highway, I hope to eventually post our action sports photography, wearing our retro ski onesies. Last night, there was a long tournament at Nintendo Wii's Winter Sports, but we got stuck for an hour at the Curling, which baffled us both in operation & strategy. Today we spent awhile reading the history & rules on Wikipedia, but I think it's something you need to experience firsthand. My parents were at the curling at the Salt Lake City Olympics in 2002, & they said they really got into watching it. Mrs Eley-Nelson had me search for curling jokes, as it's a way to peer into a world, thru the humor, going over our head. One of the chat forums under "Rock Talk" at CurlingZone.com had many:Is curling a biblical sport?
Yes, replied Jesus: "Let he who is without spin cast the first stone."
That's leads and seconds for those whose minds aren't as clean as mine...
"Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens."
As You Like It. Act ii. Sc. 1.One Curling rock to the other
There's many more here: http://www.curlingzone.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=2306. Anyone know any others?
"Hi there gorgeous! My house or yours? I won't take you for Granite"
January 22, 2009
dance review
I've been to a dance performance this evening.... in a church that's been made into a dance studio...all the pews and pulpit and etcetera removed, nothing but a wide hardwood floor, carpeted risers along the walls. It reminded me of the mosques in Egypt, how superior I find mosques to be as a space to pray in.
Praying is a compulsion with me. In Pittsburgh there is a nightclub in a former church. It is called Altar. I never went there, if I had, I probably would have prayed.
Conceptual Dance can be disspointing, but this time around, I was enchanted. Tara O'Con's coreography is great! (her piece is the one shown at the top of the post) she removes faces from the performance entirely. You develop an incredible empathy with the dancer's back muscles. the back muscles express everything a face could, and more.
The second piece of the evening was coreographed by an old friend, Enrico Wey, and it was awesome as well. Afterwards someone commented on the way he directs an ensemble of Dancers in a way that treats the "stage" as a spatial field, creates arrangements of bodies in space, but at the same time there is attenton to detail, to the exactness of the dancer's gestures...you slip from spatial awareness to emotional awareness while watching. There is also an element of narrative, character and relationship in the piece which is present, then absent, present again...Rico was saying that a lot of these come out of the fact that for the past few years he has focused so much on puppetry. I like thinking about puppetry, and I like thinking about all these different ways of thinking about people that can be a result of being a student of the arts of performance, effect, manipulation, hiding and showing, controlling and inhabiting.
Rico's piece also benefited from a funny set- a patch of astroturf and an easily dis-assembled play house representing suburbia and making that great astroturf noise beneath dancer's feet.
projections of slides of an idyllic motorboat ride, and a woman diving into a turqouise pool...with the slide projector set to automatically keep projecting, setting a clicking, whirring rhythm at times, and live acoustic guitar folk-redux semi-improv by Sam Stein. Really really good stuff always takes me by surprise.
Caleb Burhans' Election Night Requiem
I just found this video while I was doing my myspace schmoozing for the new celestial hip-hop page. My friend Caleb Burhans was performing onstage with Newspeak on Election Night, November 4th, his composition "Requiem for a General Motors in Janesville, WI" when the former president-elect took the stage, but they finished playing the somber piece before going back in the audience to watch the speech.
Will Faithfully Execute the Grammar Shibboleths
Whenever there's an article in the New York Times about grammar, it becomes one of the most e-mailed articles of the day. I conclude from this: the types of people who e-mail articles from the New York Times are also sticklers for grammar. This one takes the opposite approach, boldly dissing them:
Language pedants hew to an oral tradition of shibboleths that have no basis in logic or style, that have been defied by great writers for centuries, and that have been disavowed by every thoughtful usage manual. Nonetheless, they refuse to go away, perpetuated by the Gotcha! Gang and meekly obeyed by insecure writers.
I don't know what a shibboleth is, but I'm against them by default. Is it like a santorum saddleback? I also propose that "gotcha" be banned from the main stream media. The grammatical rule in question has something to do with placing an adverb in between infinitive markers & auxiliaries, (like "to boldly go" for Captain Kirk, or "I will always love" Dolly Parton, which would both be illegal). Apparently, Chief Justice Roberts is a grammar nazi, & in previous legal opinions has taken such extreme measures as expurgating the "ain't" from the Bob Dylan quote "When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose." Where they're going with this, was that Roberts was subconsciously correcting the constitution when he messed up the wording in Obama's constitutional oath, moving the "faithfully" around in "solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States." I would prefer to lean towards the conspiracy that aliens are preventing Obama from officially faithfully taking office.
January 21, 2009
Celestial Hip-Hop News
The MC Pseudo-Dionysius, in collaboration with Gold Diamonds, have released our heaven-rending debut Celestial Hip-Hop EP The Celestial Hierarchy.
Download a zip file of the mp3s here (click on the bottom of the image to the right!
Also, there is now a MySpace Music page, so if you belong to that venerable network, please graciously befriend us, promote us, listen to us. & this should also provide further ample opportunities to download the entire album for free, play it loud at your swanky parties, & rejoice.
There were many requests that I post the lyrics to the album, as some few of them are obscure. I don't want to post the text of it, as there are a few naughty moments, but I have created a handy pdf file of the complete libretto, which can be perused as the curious listener desires - - I apologize for the many typos, as well as for much of the content.
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