April 30, 2010
April 29, 2010
April 28, 2010
April 27, 2010
April 25, 2010
April 24, 2010
Ballad of Joe "The Rat" (or, "Fart of Darkness") Singer, and setting the stage for rampage.
What a panic's in Joe the Rat's breast: He's first at being worst,
The little coward, cute in spite of his acute cussedness,
His iron smile's a magnet for fists,
His FBI file's filed in the slits in his wrists,
He's lost his sandals--, it's like he's lost in Jesus' hearse--,
But with a cup of splenda-sweetened coffee, he feels quite reimbursed.
I met Joe the Rat at the Princeton Graduation Parade,
Dressed in a Paisley orange-and-black sports jacket,
His silhouette was like Mohammad,
His brunette girlfriend drinking anisette
In the Jersey sunshine. I asked him if he was afraid
Of the Pine Barrens, and he asked me if I was getting paid.
In Late May before the beaches are cleaned up--,
(I'm a robot on a planet of toe mold and plastic bottles) --,
A plastic detector can detect synthetic turtles.
She leaves her egg on Neptune, and waddles
Into the Atlantic Ocean: And Joe the Rat, too crooked to be corrupt,
Like a Panjandrum of the filth, makes an omelet out of her abandoned pup.
I met Joe the Rat at a nasty bar literally underneath the turn-pipe.
Splendor! Splenetic and waspish, there wasn't one free bar stool,
So I sat on the floor in a pool of someone's drool,
He splenda-sweetened voice was measured but cruel,
When he asked me if I would like his seat, his squinty glance like a sniper's snipe,
And in wafted odors from the Natural Flavoring factories which smelled exactly like pickled honeycomb tripe.
What a panic's in Joe the Rat's breast: now the scandal's broken, too,
The little coward blames the gossip industry
For shopping for more than it can stir-fry,
And petty fogs more ostentatious than actually costly.
Now the scandal's broken--, he's lost his bus token, too--,
It's like he's lost beneath Jesus' noose, among the choken few.
I met Joe the Rat nude in an antique store,
And asked him if the conspiracy goes all the way to the top, and fast:
What do you want? his brunette girlfriend asked,
And told me that the first shall be the last:
Every valley shall be exalted, but wait, there's more,
And then she grabbed onto Joe's tail and they scurried into a hole in the floor.
The little coward, cute in spite of his acute cussedness,
His iron smile's a magnet for fists,
His FBI file's filed in the slits in his wrists,
He's lost his sandals--, it's like he's lost in Jesus' hearse--,
But with a cup of splenda-sweetened coffee, he feels quite reimbursed.
I met Joe the Rat at the Princeton Graduation Parade,
Dressed in a Paisley orange-and-black sports jacket,
His silhouette was like Mohammad,
His brunette girlfriend drinking anisette
In the Jersey sunshine. I asked him if he was afraid
Of the Pine Barrens, and he asked me if I was getting paid.
In Late May before the beaches are cleaned up--,
(I'm a robot on a planet of toe mold and plastic bottles) --,
A plastic detector can detect synthetic turtles.
She leaves her egg on Neptune, and waddles
Into the Atlantic Ocean: And Joe the Rat, too crooked to be corrupt,
Like a Panjandrum of the filth, makes an omelet out of her abandoned pup.
I met Joe the Rat at a nasty bar literally underneath the turn-pipe.
Splendor! Splenetic and waspish, there wasn't one free bar stool,
So I sat on the floor in a pool of someone's drool,
He splenda-sweetened voice was measured but cruel,
When he asked me if I would like his seat, his squinty glance like a sniper's snipe,
And in wafted odors from the Natural Flavoring factories which smelled exactly like pickled honeycomb tripe.
What a panic's in Joe the Rat's breast: now the scandal's broken, too,
The little coward blames the gossip industry
For shopping for more than it can stir-fry,
And petty fogs more ostentatious than actually costly.
Now the scandal's broken--, he's lost his bus token, too--,
It's like he's lost beneath Jesus' noose, among the choken few.
I met Joe the Rat nude in an antique store,
And asked him if the conspiracy goes all the way to the top, and fast:
What do you want? his brunette girlfriend asked,
And told me that the first shall be the last:
Every valley shall be exalted, but wait, there's more,
And then she grabbed onto Joe's tail and they scurried into a hole in the floor.
April 23, 2010
April 22, 2010
April 21, 2010
April 20, 2010
Once again, the Saga of Jenny
In honor of Earth Day, Hitler & Mohammad's birthdays, L. Ron Howard Exhibition Day, & Four-Twenty, here's the scribd book of my two-part poem Saga of Jenny:
(I recommend F11 for fullscreen and then fullscreen again on the scibd book)
Saga of Jenny - S. Sandrigon
Saga of Jenny - S. Sandrigon
April 19, 2010
April 18, 2010
April 17, 2010
April 16, 2010
April 14, 2010
The Tale of Big Toothie
The Tale of Big Toothie
Comprised of Five Word Poems by Minnie Molly Mary
Photo-journalism by David Magnolia Ficke
Sangria provided by S. Sandrigon
And a Special Appearance by Darren Southworth Peoples as the outlaw Rocky "Antibiotic-Resistant" Goner-realism
Five Nights Only!
Free Hair Tonic & Cold Sore Eradication thrown in for parties of five or more.
Comprised of Five Word Poems by Minnie Molly Mary
Photo-journalism by David Magnolia Ficke
Sangria provided by S. Sandrigon
And a Special Appearance by Darren Southworth Peoples as the outlaw Rocky "Antibiotic-Resistant" Goner-realism
Five Nights Only!
Free Hair Tonic & Cold Sore Eradication thrown in for parties of five or more.
The Tale of Big Toothie
Part I.
big toothie was a thug
he resembled a good-looking dolphin
both parents were feral mathematicians
big toothie always wore white
especially with tooth-fairy on sunday's
they would jump chain-link fences
tooth-fairy laughed at big toothie
big toothie shook his fist
"i'll get you my pretty!....
if the jellyfish don't first"
Part I.
big toothie was a thug
he resembled a good-looking dolphin
both parents were feral mathematicians
big toothie always wore white
especially with tooth-fairy on sunday's
they would jump chain-link fences
tooth-fairy laughed at big toothie
big toothie shook his fist
"i'll get you my pretty!....
if the jellyfish don't first"
Part II.
big toothie threatened death often
fortunately the jellyfish never obliged
child services watched them constantly
big toothie threatened death often
fortunately the jellyfish never obliged
child services watched them constantly
Part III.
big toothie rocked the party
oftentimes his bow-tie strangled him
instead of crying he choked
this he did not like
big toothie has low tolerance
"off with this accoutrement immediately,
bow-tie's disturb the chest halo...
and this little shirt, too!"
teeth have nipples, everyone wondered?
"what do they taste like?"
tooth-fairy raised her hand first
"they taste like vegan haggis!"
big toothie rocked the party
oftentimes his bow-tie strangled him
instead of crying he choked
this he did not like
big toothie has low tolerance
"off with this accoutrement immediately,
bow-tie's disturb the chest halo...
and this little shirt, too!"
teeth have nipples, everyone wondered?
"what do they taste like?"
tooth-fairy raised her hand first
"they taste like vegan haggis!"
Part IV.
big toothie wanted to murder her
he was a reasonable tooth
conversely, pixies were riotous cheerleaders
tooth-fairy's parents sported grog blossoms
mother wore christmas ass-less chaps
father was a rhinestone cowboy
big toothie wanted to murder her
he was a reasonable tooth
conversely, pixies were riotous cheerleaders
tooth-fairy's parents sported grog blossoms
mother wore christmas ass-less chaps
father was a rhinestone cowboy
Part V.
big toothie got a cavity
"curses to all the truffles....
beastie evil fairy perversed me
tooth fairy's had rich taste
"screw dental hygiene" says she
"WELL, it's MY calcium appendage!"
fairy's liked corrupting god's gifts
afflicted, big toothie played dead
unfortunately, sleeping gives cavities strength
being an alcoholic doesn't help
"an inevitable dr. death visit!"
big toothie got a cavity
"curses to all the truffles....
beastie evil fairy perversed me
tooth fairy's had rich taste
"screw dental hygiene" says she
"WELL, it's MY calcium appendage!"
fairy's liked corrupting god's gifts
afflicted, big toothie played dead
unfortunately, sleeping gives cavities strength
being an alcoholic doesn't help
"an inevitable dr. death visit!"
Part VI.
doctor's office smelled of warthogs
dr. death wore air jordan's
his parents were tight rope hula-hoopers
his handlebar moustache was frosted
sadly the prognosis was negative
"this chunk here must go!"
(speaking of the right nipple)
"refusal would mean impending gangrene"
doctor's office smelled of warthogs
dr. death wore air jordan's
his parents were tight rope hula-hoopers
his handlebar moustache was frosted
sadly the prognosis was negative
"this chunk here must go!"
(speaking of the right nipple)
"refusal would mean impending gangrene"
to be continued!!??
April 02, 2010
Consideration Song
Consideration Song
Like matchsticks soaked in olive oil, his detumescent pudenda,
Lubricated with espresso & soymilk, against a backdrop of blacktop,
He sets before her, registered in fifteen counties as a interspecies sex offender,
But also a genuinely nice guy, a shy fop, and a bit of a metaphysical rent-a-cop.
“Dear madam,” so he says to her, “please let me make my case,
“And you can judge me as a man, radiating viridescent bioluminescence,
“You can judge my stature & stamina, as the apex of my race,
“And consider my pathetic plea, down on one knee before your presence.”
“What do you want?” she responds. “I’ll consider the celebrity
“In sunglasses at midnight. Yes, I’ll wait for chipotle-flavored iguana
“In a latin restaurant frequented by the elderly. I’ll live in a city
“Of rum & obesity. And I’ll be gregarious whenever I wanna.”
“Of rum & obesity. And I’ll be gregarious whenever I wanna.”
Into Blake Street’s birthmark, not so much a pothole as a furious chasm,
Like lime squeezed in your cocktail of pain, he revs his engines.
His last girlfriend was a dugong, one suspected of artificial orgasm,
But now he comes to her with proposed fealty, humility, and courtly vengeance.
“Dear madam,” so he says to her, “If you find it convenient,
“Come live with me & let me be your Nicolas Sarkozy.
“Loud as space & silent as a dinosaur’s covenant,
“Loud as space & silent as a dinosaur’s covenant,
“Please consider my pathetic pleas, perfumey, chocolatey & rosy.”
“What do you want?” she responds. “I’ll consider my colonoscopy
“Broadcast live on CNN. I’ll give careful consideration
“To a dead reindeer, yes. And I’ll keep a daily diary
“Of my expectral viscosity, yes, I’ll log every expectoration.”
Like a burnt up matchstick, beneath a dwarf magnolia,
He sits expired. Then, like Russia rearing his head above Alaska,
He ascends & at first stutters uttering the world "allolalia",
Collects himself & asks her faster than an answer from a paster from Nebraska.
"Dear madam," so he says to her, "Do you have any plans this Friday?
"Would you be available to me my date at a movie premiere?
"It's about the liquid siftings of pigeons, making the shroud untidy,
"Staining the rain white Friday night: Would you consider accompanying me there?"
"What do you want?" she responds. "My parents are in town Friday,
"But I'll consider a rain check. Yes, there's a goatee growing
"On my chin music. I'll consider scuttlebutting society,
"And fiends aflame! Pull up your zipper, your panties are showing."
Into Blake Street's birthmark, we find an underground conquistador
Hoarding gems & he discovers a fountain of liquid youth.
Meanwhile, a NASA shuttle has erupted from the water
And whizzes past Messenger Mercury, loose like the truth is sometimes uncouth.
"Dear madam," so he says to her, "Consider my plumage,
"My pinions stretched to the four compass points, my pettifoggeries
"Exiled to the ends of the earth. Consider the night nurse's rampage:
"Consider a marriage beneath Berkeley's blossoming magnolia trees."
"What do you want?" she responds. "I'll consider letting you have it.
"I'll put our pre-nup in the shredder & toss the shreds in a salad.
"No, I've judged your stamina & I'm snugglier now than a pregnant rabbit.
"Now consider my innocence, & know my imagination's hesitation was valid."
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