June 30, 2008

Report from the Mersey & the Tyne

Poems written in pubs - (the Philharmonic & the Cluny , respectively) - whilst traveling. I have trouble writing straight-forward prose stating what I've done, so these should aid my nostalgia in forty years.


Report from the Mersey

Brahms & Liszt, sober rooms at the smokeless Philharmonic,
And other truisms, there was no honeymoon,
And the rain & the radiation will get better soon,
This bread is my bread, this wine is my gin & tonic.

Forsooth, the graduates will flow thru the doors now,
Zounds! & we know the reason for the cathedral.
If you can stand to filibuster until past nightfall,
Then I'll only sing four more verses before the floorshow.

Please turn it up several notches higher, & explain,
Bold Street & Penny Lane were both named after slave traders.
Finish drinking your bitterness while I wave the waitress,
Like only a dangerous professor of denistry can complain.

Forsooth, it's been scrubbed down past its Catholic Colours to an angsty whiteness.
Zounds! this planet is inhabited by a velvery silence,
Itinerant & bloody, but what is rock & roll music with the violins?
And powdered drinks like Tang have been replaced by watercress.

While she was sleeping, I slipped my hand into her stomach.
Oh! Brittany, your white hair breaks like the ocean,
I could live forever only within your expectoration.
You were a cardinal figure before my phoney heartless attack.

Forsooth, a blistering day, the saloon totally empty,
A creeky, swinging door & I hear flip-flops approaching.
Don't loath me for my centuries of cockroaching.
It's a far cry from Coventry, goodby city of expediency.



Report from the Tyne

Somewhere something suddenly happened,
There's always a pub within running distance when it rains,
Derelict pavilions from my halcyon flapper remains,
Over the top, keep walking, there's no bookend.

Nancy, I bequeath you this old tape recorder,
I only used it for twentieth century music.
Swim to Ireland until you learn the trick,
And we will re-order until we've passed the border.

Older than the waves today is,
Fair is the air where the cows have stopped farting.
We ruminate out infinite hours, now I am departing.
Crossing the seventh bridge a the Quayside, the way is the dais.

Nancy, I want it all, what we never had,
Mack the Knife slives a chunk of my spinal chord.
One million dollars will be my just reward,
But first I will sit here & be forever sad.

Knee-pads shield the sailor's sore knees.
The limosene should come at Six A.M.
Amen, the service is finished, we've sung the tedium.
There are no more songs in my head, if you please.

Where were we, bonny Nancy, the year of the pig?
One last round sould make the sky alright.
If you insist, I will spend the night.
I'll wear the fig leaf, but I will not eat the fig.

June 27, 2008

From the Cover Only...


A special bottle of rakia goes to the first person who can figure out what this book is. You can only use inference from the cover and no translating programs or people who know slavic languages are allowed.

Video: Baby Got Wand

Aloha from sunny Oldham, outside Manchester. I am reminded of Mrs Smith's friend Meaghan, they were in a traveling music-telling ensemble which spent many weeks & months in long carrides, often reading out loud. Meaghan was the only one what had not been thru Harry Potter, & the resulting immersion resulted in this impressive "rap" song:

June 26, 2008

See You When The Sun Goes Down


SEE YOU WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN

I got a letter this morning, Lord, Hallelujah!
I broke the seal & I read the word, Hallelujah!
And from the pages, your choir I heard,
See you when the sun goes down!

My wife is gone & my sons away, Hallelujah!
I think of them every single day, Hallelujah!
If only night was an hour away,
See you when the sun goes down!

I am a traveler on this train, Hallelujah!
And every bump jostles me with pain, Hallelujah!
But tho I'm orn'ry, I don't complain,
See you when the sun goes down!

My parents dear may be safe at home, Hallelujah!
While down on this lonely globe I roam, Hallelujah!
I count the hours till we sing shalom,
See you when the sun goes down!

The road's congested, but I'm alone, Hallelujah!
My neighbor's neighbors are all unknown, Hallelujah!
Will I belong when I near your throne?
See you when the sun goes down!

Where is the true friend of Israel? Hallelujah!
In throes of anguish, I'll wait awhile, Hallelujah!
I'm patient, Lord, but I'm bored, and I'll
See you when the sun goes down!


Thank you all for your massive support. I'll be posting these variously at irregular intervals. Today, I travel from the coally Tyne south to West Yorkshire. My sexy orange backpack seems to be getting lighter, but my boots are beginning to ache my feet. Word to the wise, The Coast from Whitley Bay towards Tynemouth is extremely beautiful & there are pubs within running distance whenever it starts to rain. Ciao!

You can click on that image to see it larger & print it paper-sized.

UPDATE 10/20/08:
New Mic, New Recording, leave the harmonies only up to your imagination NO MORE:


June 22, 2008

Don't Order Omelets

It Was Lost’s latest concept in the world of leisure is the Milk Bar, or Bar Mleczny. They’re like delis slash diners slash soup kitchens. There are narrow ones, multistory ones, ones with tiny old people, and ones with seven-feet tall blondes, erm, 210-cm tall blondes; but don’t ask me to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius. This is a photo of my favorite one in Poznan, Greater Poland:



Prices in Poland are about the same as in California, but a Bar Mleczny remains a bargain. If you speak Polish they aren’t as much fun. Reading the menus is like scanning for lost treasure; you might find gold, other times dross. And just because you can tell that “Omlet Szpinak” is a spinach omelet doesn't mean you should order it.

Mr. Quill, FYI, I used two similes and two metaphors in this post. Whereas your video of the Bulgarian Idol was an allegory for awesomeness.

June 19, 2008

Excerpt from 'There's a HOUSE inside my MUMMY'

This children's book was laying around my friend Mike's house, to be read to his 2-year-old son Jack, who is expecting a baby sister. The general story is a father explaining why mummy's stomach is so big - -Mike pointed out a couple suggestive passages.


My daddy says I lived there too
When I was being made,
But I don't remember very much
About it, I'm afraid.

He always likes to tell me
It's a lovely place to be,
He knows because he's
seen it
On the hospital's T.V.

[...]

I just can't wait to meet him
I hope that he's alright,
My daddy says, be patient,
As his door is rather tight.

There's a HOUSE Inside My MUMMY
Giles Andrae & Vanessa Cabban (2001)

June 16, 2008

Video: One-Year-Old Mimosas Witness

Good Morning, friends. And a happy Bloomsday! I've been getting up at four for the last two days as a preemptive strike against jet-lag. What others do at 5 AM is a mystery to me, besides taking long walks thru the Los Altos Hills, reading Lonesome Dove, & watching baby videos.

As you reader no doubt do not need telling, the fastest growing religion in my apartment is The Mimosas Witnesses, & I have been privileged to preside over the diaspora as the tithing figurehead, the Archpope of Transubstantiation. We are occasionally an evangelical faith, so I will be wearing my Hotel Universe-printed t-shirt in county Derbyshire & onward these next few weeks, as I spend my George Bush American-economy-stimulus-cheques on British ales.

And for Mimosas! Where did this penchant for champagne originate in my blood? My father has unearthed this rare footage from 1983 of the future Archpope being brainwashed by his elders! I would generally dictate that religion should not be forced upon youth until they are old enough to choose salvation for themselves, & have tasted such transgressions as sobriety. Watch it here:

UPDATE: I'm in Liverpool, & that video didn't load, so just take my word that it was amazing, & I'll fix it later.TTFN!



June 12, 2008

June Quotes: Washoe & Terrorist Fist Jabs

I just finished Roger Fout's memoirs of his years training Washoe the Chimpanzee & her family to speak with American Sign Language. This is an intense book that chronicles Fout's years of sacrificing his own academic career for the humane sake of his extended chimp family. (He turned down a professorship at Yale when he saw their research center, & on & on.) There was a quote at the end I wanted to post here, but Miss Jenny Ruth returned the book to the library (I had spilled coffee all over it.) He said that thirty years into working with Washoe, he learned what her name meant: "people". She had been named for the county in Nevada where Allen & Beatrix Gardner began Project Washoe, & where I also grew up. Read that book, people! The subtitle of the original hardback, "What chimpanzees have taught me about who we are" may sound corny at first, but the book is one startling insight after another. I emerge from it subtly realigned.

I'm traveling Eastward soon; - some quotes to inaugurate the summer:

Oh, now you love the Ten Commandments.
And yet you’re the one who so conveniently forgot:

"Thou shalt protect thy father, and honor no one above him
unless it beith me, Thy Sweet Lord."

- Gob to Michael, in "Arrested Development", Season One

A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?
The gesture everyone seems to interpret differently!

We’ll show you some interesting body communication and find out what it really says.

-E.D. Hill, on Barack & Michelle Obama's fist bump.
Her Fox News show, America's Pulse, was canceled right away!

"You make it sound as tho this is the first time we've had a black president...
Warren G. Harding was a negro!"

-John Mclaughlin, apparently in earnest, on The Mclaughlin Group

A robin redbreast in a cage,
Puts all heaven in a rage.
-William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence"