Department of Five Word Poems: xi.

113.

Marching bands murdered my parents.
-F. Keith Wahle

xi.

The President's wife getting filthier.

________________________________________________________________________________

Department of Five Word Poems: iv.

11.

Yesterday we lost Central America.
-F. Keith Wahle

iv.

The President's wife likes me.

________________________________________________________________________________

Day One: Text Chatting the Former President

The first photograph of the President in the oval office with his Sarah Lawrence College Dance Major, Rahm Emanuel.

There was an amazing typo in today's San Francisco Chronicle, underneath the large photo on page A5, the caption read:

President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama
text chat with former President George W. Bush and Laura Bush on the Capitol steps.

The caption on their website has been fixed to eliminate the word "text", probably left over from the layout draft. But the idea of the new president "text chatting" the former president, especially when he's standing just right next to him, really heralds a new generation of leadership & the dawn of 21st Century American government.

Live-Blogging the Obama Parade?

Few words come to mind - Michelle in Mustard! Bush departing by helicopter, Kennedy collapsing, Dr. Strangelove in his wheelchair & cane, departing to his secret puppet theater with Kissinger to pretend they still have hidden control over the world.

The Mimosas Witnesses met in South Berkeley at a co-op with a big tv to celebrate the new presidency with some impassioned transubstantiation, at like 8am. Our midwife friend Julia had cancelled all deliveries & cooked some awesome wholesome rye Freedom Toast. Now, with a new world, are we attemepting to watch cnn livefeed & liveblog the Parade! We are here.

I'll start off the live-blog with last hour's chat:

11:48 AM Olaf has joined

James Quill has joined

me: Sorry I frozw

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Olaf: or here

me: I was saying,

Olaf: so, what did those ladies say?

James Quill: yeah!

me: Those black ladies were like "HOPE & CHANGE, &, uh, uh, what else was he talking about, there was one other thing? Uh... CONFUSION!"

11:49 AM Olaf: really?

me: That's what she said.

His themes of HOPE & CHANGE & CONFUSION

Olaf: that is the part i always forget as well

me: His speech was a little poetic at times

11:50 AM Feinstein was the MC

11:51 AM Olaf: Alice Walker said she "Looked different" (feinstein) is this true?

me: Michelle was wearing mustard gold diamonds

Olaf: i listened on radio

me: Alice Walker was on the radio? SLC represent

11:53 AM Olaf: word. with Amy goodman on democracy now. you should listen. there is some very nice silence between those two.

11:54 AM an ideal viewing audience. Amy goodman, alice walker, myself. i almost asked them to pass the buttered toast.

how about Aretha?

damn!

still got it!

11:55 AM me: You & your girls

Aretha, everyone at the co-op I was at was mocking her hat a lot, I said she can wear what she wants

Olaf: right on, james. you tell those fools

11:56 AM James Quill: tell 'em tell 'em

12:58pm Western Time Shit! The parade was over at the other video feed. It's already started! There's a lot of three-corner hats & fifes marching right now.


He's getting out of the armored car! he's crazy!
that is a very strange color choice Michelle made, I must say. I hope she doesn't have a mustard yellow ballgown for the inaugural balls.

Save yourself! I moved to a fancier newer post above: here.

Quotes & In Conversation

Suggesting that we stop recognizing married people:

Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.

She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,

“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”
“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”

President-elect-elect Obama on the manly dog he will be bringing to the White House:

Barack Obama [asking about Barbara Walters' dog]: "Cha Cha?"

Barbara Walters: "It's short for Cha Cha Cha."

Obama: "What is a Havanese?"

Walters: "It's like a little terrier and they're non-allergenic and they're the sweetest dogs.."

Obama: [Face suddenly changes.] "It's like a little yappy dog?"

Michelle Obama: "Don't criticize."

Obama: "It, like, sits in your lap and things?"

Michelle: "It's a cute dog."

Obama: "It sounds kinda like a girly dog."

Michelle: "We're girls. We have a houseful of girls."

Obama [with hand gestures]: "We're going to have a big rambunctious dog, of some sort."

I do also believe that this is the finest & wittiest Obama impersonator:

Go read Dave Eggers' funny Thanksgiving play in the New York Times,
& Sarah Palin Poetry:

And the relevance to me
With that issue,
As we spoke
About Africa and some
Of the countries
There that were
Kind of the people succumbing
To the dictators
And the corruption
Of some collapsed governments
On the Continent,
The relevance
Was Alaska’s.

What the philistine media take for incoherence is, in fact, the fruitful ambiguity of verse.

Here she is, in a work I have taken to calling “The Relevance of Africa.” (Not a single word or comma has been changed, but the line breaks are placed where they naturally fall.) In it, Palin blends the energy of free verse with the austerity of a classic 14-line sonnet... A great poet needs to leave open the door between the conscious and unconscious; Sarah Palin has removed her door from its hinges. A great poet does not self-censor; Sarah Palin seems authentically innocent of what she is saying. She could be the most natural, visionary poet since William Blake.

-Julian Gaugh

thoughts on the eve of an historic election

This afternoon, James sent me a text message which read:
I still have lingering doubts about Obama..what if he packs his administration with gay hindu marxists?
while this was humorous coming from dear James, It struck a chord with me. Not because I have a logical fear that Obama will do any such thing, but because it made me think of how History so often seems to hang between ingrained, often illogical fears -of the "other" or of the unknown- that the priveleged and powerful(that would be us) have been taught (by instruction, pervasive example or both)- and an insistent reason-(or like the bourgeois women who invented the French Revolution in their salons- having read too much to be only concerned with ourselves, at least in theory) that makes us do things the outcomes of which we have been instructed to fear. Elfie Raymond would say that History-as all great stories- is made in the margin between Necessity and Chance. between what is irrevocably decided for us, and what we decide for ourselves.

I have had moments in which I experienced irrational, disembodied, illogical fear of this President Obama. In the next instant I have been moved almost to tears by the overwhelming joy of the thought of President Obama, first lady Michelle and first daughters Malia and Sasha and all that that can mean for so many people- especially children, and certainly myself, and old people... who can still learn, who can still feel a little redeemed, a little awed. This election cycle has given so many people, myself included, a rare opportunity to inspect the way our harddrives are programmed on matters of race, class, regionalism, political partisanship. Hopefully to debug as best we are able for the time being.
I came into the summer a labor radical, a class warrior and, I see now, a politically intolerant person- because I was fed up with my situation. Then, a very wealthy republican who had never met me before graciously opened his home to me and let me live there for two months while I was working for the Obama campaign in Pittsburgh. He made sure my fridge was always full of Guinness. Many of my best volunteers were very wealthy people who were working ardently against the predetermined darwinian logic of their wealth in the face of a clearly proposed progressive income tax. They were driven by something else- , and they chose to trust beyond their fear of losing what they owned if Obama turned out to be a Marxist- they chose to trust that they too would be valued and respected were Obama to come to office.

In the past week I was berated somewhat (I will not say by whom) for not wanting a revolution of the proletariat, the abolition of private capital and ownership, and a total rejection of our political system as it now stands. I want to say unabashedly and on the record that I do not believe that our political system is perfect. I am a worker, and believe me I know I've been fucked over the last 8 years. what I want more than anything is increased- maximum, complete, voluntary participation of the people in the body politic, in the election cycles, but much more importantly, during the legislative cycles and during judicial nominations. I want the potential of this democracy to be achieved through peaceful, voluntary citizen participation. I believe in the potential for this, and I believe that much of what has happened in this election cycle has laid the groundwork for this peaceful rebirth of our democracy in the age of the internet. It can only get better, and truer, stronger and more Just. I do not want The Revolution that my friend wants. Anyone who wants a (presumably armed, because there is no other way the mass of the people would comply) marxist-leninist revolution in America rejects what I think the true strength and value of this country ought to be, has been and can be again. that is #1- peaceful transfer of power (which, inshallah, we will see tomorrow). in other words peace in the country. Ask any recent immigrant to the U.S who has come from a country torn by civil strife and armed uprisings and sectarian massacres following elections if they want The Revolution in the U.S, and they will probably tell you no, they just want to have security of person, live in peace, make a living, not have to fear persecution or death, or for that matter hunger, ill health, unsupported infrastructure, an unstable economy.
People do not want to stand in breadlines. Not everyone wants to own the factory they work in. A lot of people come to the U.S because they believe in Capitalism, they think it is a good system, they think if they work hard they can save some money to use as startup capital, to own their own business and grow some wealth, which will give them security from physical injury and want- again, peace. The point is not whether the other guy thinks you're selfish, or you think he's crazy because he doesn't want to be rich like you, the point is you both get to make up your own goddamned minds, live how you want to live, and when you disagree (as Americans do about pretty much everything most of the time) find ways of fighting each other (politics being the prime example), without the violence, bloodshed and death that destroy lives in so many politically unstable countries. Our way of persuasion and transformation may be (sometimes infuriatingly) slower than The Revolution, but it is also, wonderfully, more subtle, which means the progressive changes have more legitimacy, and are therefore more sustainable. There is more subtelty in what we do here in our still short History, than one can reasonably expect from an adolescent Nation. And yet, in a way, we are a precocious adolescent. We've fucked up, to be sure, but I believe that our nature is sound, and our innate instinct, when we follow it faithfully, can guide us to a better place.

Zoom In on Minnesota's Sixth Congressional District, & Elwyn Tinklenberg

Brooklyn's Miss Grainne Proinseas points us towards the now tightening race in Minnesota's Sixth Congressional District. It is a largely conservative district north of Minneapolis. Their zany diarrhea-mouth representative Michele Bachmann went on Meet the Press this last weekend & suggested that "anti-American" members of congress, such as Barack Obama, should be investigated to see if they were truly patriotic. (The original clip is here, & Jon Stewart's reaction is here.) In the five days since, the Republican National Committee has pulled all of its funds from her race, & contributers from all over the country have poured more than a million dollars into her Democratic Challenger's previously ignored challenge. Miss Proinseas has sent an e-mail to be circulated:

I channelled my hurt and disgusted feelings upon hearing her comments into a donation (a small donation, but a donation nonetheless) to the democrat who is vying for her seat in the house. Elwyn Tinklenberg is actually a pretty cool guy in and of himself...former secretary of transportation under Jesse Ventura who has been a pioneer advocate of lightrail and public transportation in Minnesota. Rep. Bachmann deserves to lose her seat because of her divisive careless partisan mudslinging, which can not be helpful in building bipartisan consensus on important issues, and Elwyn Tinklenberg would be a welcome addition to a congress that must act to improve public transportation and hopefully lay lightrail nationwide.
I urge you all to go make a donation to Tinklenberg- 5, 10, 20 dollars, whatever you can.

Now that he can afford it, here is El Tinklenberg's new positive political ad--: (Listen carefully! there's a toy-piano in the soundtrack!)

Alive-Blogging Live from Obama Nation USA! Post 2: A brief explanation of the beverage Gobias Gobama

For readers of George Eliot's novels & heavy healthy dyspeptics, this joke should require no preamble, but I'll brief in the rest of Obama Nation:
In Arrested Development, a canceled tv sitcom on Fox, there is a character named G.O.B. (played by Will Arnett), pronounced "Jobe" but frequently misponounced "gob". With the character Tobias (David Cross), he proposed to open a "carbo-loading" coffee shop called "Gobias" - "as in, 'Go Buy Us some Coffee'" - obviously, it is mispronounced "Joe-buy-us." Et cetera. Mirth & canned laughter ensues.
When Presidential Candidate & Illinois' junior senator, Barack Obama, announced his running mate would be Sen. Joe Biden, portmanteau enthusiasts across the internets immediately started calling the team "Joe-bama" & "Obiden."
Tonight, we are spread far across this majestic country, united by one common pursuit - live-blogging the Obamamania & drinking Jim Beam, which for the sake of it all, we've rechristened "Joe-Biden-on-the-Colorado-Rocks."

Which brings us to the following obvious joke:

Gobias Gobama

which of course can be mispronounced many ways.
And now we return to our scheduled Live Blogging.

7:56pm Mountain Time Does anyone still actually like Rock & Roll Music? I'm nostalgic for when politicians played Copland's music, dramatic open-plains orchestral stuff. Ah, Aaron Copland, gay leftist Aaron Copland. I'd vote for anything set to Billy the Kid.

Grainne+Olaf:
Barack: "That little American flag was the only toy I had. It was everything to me. It was my Fork. I ate with it."

Barack: "I see myself in lots and lots of white people wearing hardhats"

8:14pm That's Obama, I'm sure of it, I'd recognize him anywhere.

Grainne: Michelle never ceases to amaze me. Is her dress red tiger-stripe or am I hallucinating?
It's kind of cool how they match Malia and Sasha's dresses to their mom's. I dig stagecraft.

8:21pm Why on earth did the Rupubs agree to have their conference immediately after this, & how!? They're all going to look so cute & tiny next week.

Grainne: when are we going to talk about eating white babies?

5:25am in Bulgaria - Time for a working man's first big sip of Gob Biden Bourbon.


8:27 MST - He really needs to top his 2004 convention speech. I'm anticipating goosebumps soon, especially towards the end, but so far, Platitudes count: 3. OVerly repeated stump elements: 5. Let's go Barry, pick it up!

8:28pm What does Barack Obama have against John McCain? He keeps mentioning him like a man obsessed. Get over him.

Grainne: is he deliberately not bringing up the "I have a dream" anniversary? Not wanting to emphasize his blackness in such a big bright spotlight? hm. wonder where that will go.

8:33pm Jenny Ruth says: "Same old shit". But bigger, I would add.
I think he's saving MLK for a big moment.

Grainne: it sure is refreshing when the American Flag is not in the frame at all, and O has that giant Japanese-lantern lookin' background instead.

American Flags are so last century. NEW POST ABOVE! CLEAN CUP! MOVE DOWN!

June Quotes: Washoe & Terrorist Fist Jabs

I just finished Roger Fout's memoirs of his years training Washoe the Chimpanzee & her family to speak with American Sign Language. This is an intense book that chronicles Fout's years of sacrificing his own academic career for the humane sake of his extended chimp family. (He turned down a professorship at Yale when he saw their research center, & on & on.) There was a quote at the end I wanted to post here, but Miss Jenny Ruth returned the book to the library (I had spilled coffee all over it.) He said that thirty years into working with Washoe, he learned what her name meant: "people". She had been named for the county in Nevada where Allen & Beatrix Gardner began Project Washoe, & where I also grew up. Read that book, people! The subtitle of the original hardback, "What chimpanzees have taught me about who we are" may sound corny at first, but the book is one startling insight after another. I emerge from it subtly realigned.

I'm traveling Eastward soon; - some quotes to inaugurate the summer:

Oh, now you love the Ten Commandments.
And yet you’re the one who so conveniently forgot:
"Thou shalt protect thy father, and honor no one above him
unless it beith me, Thy Sweet Lord."
- Gob to Michael, in "Arrested Development", Season One

A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?
The gesture everyone seems to interpret differently!
We’ll show you some interesting body communication and find out what it really says.
-E.D. Hill, on Barack & Michelle Obama's fist bump.
Her Fox News show, America's Pulse, was canceled right away!

"You make it sound as tho this is the first time we've had a black president...
Warren G. Harding was a negro!"
-John Mclaughlin, apparently in earnest, on The Mclaughlin Group

A robin redbreast in a cage,
Puts all heaven in a rage.
-William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence"