"Protect the Third Amendment!" Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity - Protest Sign Suggestions

The Huffington Post commissioned signs for Jon Stewart's forthcoming Rally to Restore Sanity. I sent in a half dozen, so far only one has been added to their 144-deep slideshow, but here's the rest:

There's other good ones at the huffpost here. Here's Stewart's original announcement of his rally, including some splendid sign suggestions:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rally to Restore Sanity Announcement
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

"We have a hard time keeping her in clothes"

I was worried I was spending too much time at home on the computer, so I came to the library to use their computers. It was a strange coincidence that, on the week that my Firefox browser has been crashing all the time, I worked as a waiter at a shwanky party for the Mozilla people. I resisted the tempatation to ask for computer help while working behind the soup bar, & I love their AdBlock add-on too much to put my saliva in their Celery Root bisque (which was delicious).

I am listening to the second half of Olaf Mary's "Jenny Ruth 'Bill Clinton' Crawford" Mix Tape Was Lost, too long for one sitting last night, which I recommend especially if you are a young woman going thru some confusing changes. Mr Mary Mohammad, who is the wonderful singer singing "We are riding in a boat to sail" about half-way thru?

Speaking of my housemate's name, & also of the 21st Century ease of finding people with your identical name, we call them namelgängers, my father sent us this image from Reno's Fox News website:

http://www.foxreno.com/slideshow/18447461/detail.htmlindex.html?currentSlide=4&taf=reno

I'm facebook friends with a James Welsch who's a bluegrass musician in Maine, & there's also a classical composer in New York. James Welsch & I proposed starting a James Welsch band. Remember when we found dozens of James Quills, James Quilliam, & James Quillers?

The last anecdote comes from Miss Waswo, who's car is broke down in a small ghost town in California right now. The story is long & descriptive, as only things that happen to her can be, but culminates in being cornered by a creepy man with two chihuahuas. He told her one of his chihuahuas was "BRUTALLY RAPED", but the upside was, that's how he got the other chihuahua. My question is, how does one know when chihuahua love is consensual?

I also wanted to recommend putting "Dolly & Friends" on your Netflix queue. It's spectacular. She's amazingly pure in the 70s, & her guests are fabulous. Except for Kenny Rogers, who seemed like he got a little sauced before going on her show. Dolly Parton will always love you, & as we've learned from the opening song, whenever she's with us she thinks of butterflies:

Fake Wedding Party Photo Shoot

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Special Report: Is Dolly Parton Anti-Gravity?

We need an emergency band meeting to discuss the lyrics to the Dolly Parton single Jesus and Gravity. It seems to be a new song from a year ago, (wikipedia says she performed it on American Idol in April 2008) and it is released on her last album, Backwoods Barbie, her 42nd studio album. The song, Jesus & Gravity, by songwriting legend Craig Wiseman & Betsy Ulmer, is an uplifting spiritual, about the forces giving her wings & holding her down. Here's the video:


I was disturbed by the ambiguity Ms Parton showed toward gravity. The great majority of the lyrics in the song are about Jesus lifting her up. Of gravity, she says very little, juxtaposing it with Jesus in the chorus:

Something lifting me up,
Something holding me down,
Something to give me wings,
And keep my feet on the ground,
I've got all I need: Jesus and Gravity.

"Holding me down" has a negative tone, but we assume it is useful to keep people from bumping their heads on the ceiling. It is tyrannical oppression. "Keep my feet on the ground", tho, implies sound reasoning & keeping it real. So is gravity a heavy but necessary evil preparing the singer for spiritual ascension?

But wait! Since when has gravity been the baddie in gospel songs? The devil, as a metaphysical force compelling one towards immoral behavior, is a stock villian. There are the forces of nature, sexual desire, deadly sins, and other natural impulses tying mortals to the cycles of Mother Earth, these are often treated with resentment from the sacred songwriter & grumpy poets like T.S. Eliot. But Gravity?

"I've got all I need," sings Dolly. Other lyricists might beg to differ, that gravity is superfluous when she has Jesus. So what is her definition of gravity? Creationists could remind us that, like Darwin's suspect Theory of Evolution, Isaac Newton's ideas are mere theories and unproven. Perhaps Kansan school boards have their sights too narrow, and we should have notices in text books casting doubt on the Laws of Motion. The standard theory, after all, would make certain biblical miracles unlikely, not to mention rising from the dead.

Before I take this too far, I'll conclude that Dolly Parton's gravity is a synecdoche for many natural forces - which both tie us to this earth & help us walk thru life. In my final college thesis on the Gospel of John (in which Jesus offers himself as a better way to satisfy many different hungers), I wrote "Desire and hunger, with their upper reflection of love, are the metaphysical laws of gravity and attraction." I was thinking in neoplatonic terms, that there are indeed hierarchies within these attractions, and that earthly love is a fallen version of heavenly love. They are related, a sort of greyscale between them. Therefore, natural gravity (which is the attraction of bodies) can be seen as a version of spiritual gravity. On this corrupt earth, it may seem that one force is holding you down & another lifting you up, but when things have been righted, all bodies will be pulled towards the Godhead. Dolly Parton is experiencing strong pulls in both directions, which may be why she appears so skinny these days. And besides her huge faith, in other ways, other parts of her have always defied gravity.