Itwaslost GOOGLY SEARCH TERMS 2011

It's been a while since we've rounded up the search terms that led people to this blog. So without further ado, straight from our Statistical Department, is the top ten itwaslost-bound Google search terms:

1. curling jokes
2. firewhiskey recipe
3. michael jackson castration
4. purple flag
5. firewhiskey
6. itwaslost
7. famous non drivers
8. flag of the world
9. michael jackson castrat
10. black ram

In case you missed the significance, HOORAY! Michael Jackson's testicles are NO LONGER the top search idea leading people to this blog! (That and 'purple flag' were 1 & 2 for years.) That means, to give audiences what they want, we need to start producing more content about curling humor and Harry Potter recipes. Now, for fun, I went thru the long list and picked out the funniest search terms that led people here:

a hunks pennis
albino alligator for sale
ample mammaries
castracted the 14 tears old boy cause i love him so much
cloud fat woman shape
dirtiest panties
drinking corn whiskey
girls taking hookah pictures
great white marijuana sewer gator myth
grindelwald release a handkerchief
how to make corn likker
how to make corn liqueur
how to mix corn licquour
james welsch porn
man on manatee
rhymes with smurfs
shocking gelded men pics
song socks with sandals
the dirtiest panties ever
vapid innocuous euphemisms
very preggo
we found it .org
"dugong jokes"
"get a fucking job is all"
"giant tree trunk piece of ass"

Those are all culled from only the last month. This website has written about such a wide range of strange topics over the years, it's always surprising to see what people are out there looking for, and hopefully we helped them find it. M.M.M. suggested that "Man on Manatee" be the name of the next album for The Manna Tease. I love the concept of "corn liqueur." If we figure out how to make it, you'll read it here first. Also, I'm psyched that people are finding this website from searching for words that rhyme with 'smurf.' Good morning!

This website is now exclusively about Michael Jackson's Testicles

A few years ago I wrote an essay positing if Michael Jackson was a castrato. If you haven't heard, Mr Jackson just died. And that essay, which seemed to always get a lot of hits, got like a thousand hits in a day & a half. As we wait anxiously for the full results of the autopsy (my God, could this be the moment!?!?) here's a look at what some people have googlied to reach that page in the past thirty-six hours:


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Wound-Slurry in my Dirtiest Panties

This might have to become a regular segment... The google Analytics I set up a few months ago, which tracks statistics on this site, tells you what keywords people have searched to arrive at your website in the past month. Thank the world for continuing to google strange things. There's always a ton about Michael Jackson's testicles, purple flags of the world, & a new favorite is "lepiota lutea", the yellow houseplant parasol mushroom, which is currently the second most searched-for term to arrive here. I weeded thru about four hundred last night & picked out my favorites for the last month.

--"new mexico" mushroom penis
--blanket jackson looks like his daddy
--botch of egypt
--can a pervert and a womanizer ever be cured of their desires and disease
--castrating a boy
--christ told his children, i know life is fucking crazy, but i’m here to tell you there’s a purpose behind it
--dirtiest panties

--hello muscle palace rupert's mail address it appears not to be being positively. nya the inside inside the cotton 3 all helped the mail does not see anh ass why .... and reply it entrusts certainly . i language ardency maybe too much without ? it peels anyhow and phyey the use method petty egg it lights and it gives. only is like thatgoodbye
--laura bush fake photos
--osservatore anus
--percontation point
--photo of young guys from bulgaria
--rahm emanuel born of a virgin
--shall not a dog move his tongue
--studly guys

--what is some of the things that could happen if you are not sir cumsized?

--who sings this: we've all seen men at the liquor store begging for your change his hair on his face is dirty dreadlock for the main. he asked the man what he can despair with shame in his eyes, get a fucking job is all he replied.
--wound-slurry

I wonder if they ever found their Laura Bush fake nude images? I shouldn't discuss it too much, or I risk trafficking more people looking for Laura Bush fakes. Perhaps I should encourage such behavior by posting about "LOOK HERE FOR YOUR FAKE LAURA BUSH XXX NUDES" et cetera. And "Rahm Emanuel born of a virgin" - that's gold diamonds. The report from mid-April is HERE.

It Was FURLOUGHED

The Board of Lost of It regretfully announces, due to bulging backstock & a budget deficit, the blog itwaslost.org will be FURLOUGHED from between the hours of 3am, Saturday, April 25th, & 11am, Monday, April 27th. This economy has hit everyone hard, but we believe that the American blogging industry is the greatest in the world. We thank our loyal customers for their support.

Mr Quill introduced me to google analytics, where we can track the website's statistics. An amazing feature is learning what google searches people have typed in to arrive at your website. I only set it up a week ago, but the top five most common for this week were:

1) laura kirilova chukanov
2) famous non-drivers
3) itwaslost
4) michael jackson castrato
5) curling jokes

But there's several hundred others. Some of my favorites:

-"delphinic fettishes"
-barack & obama & wedding & ceremony & text
-bop shu wop
-did michael jackson lose his viginity to cliona
-does anyone have a recipe for millet cookies?
-dude, this party is dead. you got any of those whippits left? i gotta cracker and some balloons in my car.
-got your scrotum in my mouth tea bag tea bag song ithaca
-pirelli's elixir original label for bottles
-sock fettishes
-we west forever life forever for the grabber

There were a ton about Michael Jackson's balls, Laura Chukanov (Miss Utah), Obama's 'stop smoking NOW' letter, & purple flags. Thank you, world, for googiling interesting things. We apologize for the furlough - - - - - - - times is hard, times is hard...