Apologies: & a New Order at It Was Lost

This was some art that Minnie Molly Mary left lying around my apartment. She described it to me, I think, basically, as Adam deciding between the heavenly Mimosa and God's touch, & leaning towards the Mimosa. (I say, those are some sexy stockings Adam is sporting.)

I've updated the LOCATIONS for our inner outer community of contributers to the greater blogospheric It Was Lost forgottiverse. Mr Quill, of All Forgotten, has ended his bulgarious era, & is now listed as Special Forgotten Midwestern Correspondent, residing in Bloomington, Indiana. Breaking Away! Mr Olaf Mary Mohammad, who declared himself yesterday below "inna Edinburgh" will now be our only European correspondent, & we expect a whole new epoch of Mix Tapes Were Lost. Miss Grainne Proinseas couldn't stand the ten blocks she lived away from me & leaped five blocks closer over the border from Oakland into Berkeley, into the apartment of the friends the Lefkowitz Sisters. Cosmo Wenicky is of course now in Connecticut! And Miss Minnie Molly Mary has added enough art & illustrations & inspiration to itwaslost over the past year, I welcome her to the official roster! What we're all working on, but not posting yet, is a big series of "children's poems", illustrated by Grianne, Olaf, & M.M.M., which I am forced to keep secret for the time being, but I'll deliciously hint that there are stories about outerspace, giant ancient mammals, impossible loves, America, fate & guacamole!

However, things to look out for during THE FALL SEASON on our community weblog:

• An amazing book of drawings by a young girl I found on the street in San Francisco, alternately called "200 Unruled Sheets" or "The Seven and Six Year Olds."
• Fashion!
• More Professional Female Midget Wrestling
• Close coverage of the 2010 midterm elections (as close as we wish to get).
• More befoulers of the verbiage.
• Art, music, shisha, romance, & adventure.

Thank you, gentle friends. Please follow us in that "Followers" gadget to the left, add our feed to your Google Reader or whatever you use for blog feeds, follow S. Sandrigon on Google Buzz, comment often & stay tuned!

Processed, Completed, Aborted, Lost & Forgotten: www.itwaslost.org's 2009 New Years Resolutions

Before my Twenty-Ten list finalizes, now is the time to review my 2009 New Years Resolutions & see what did & didn't done get done. I shall re-post them here &, in full disclosure & fidelity to reality, report if they were completed:

-Stop going to see movies starring Philip Seymour Hoffman. I don't know why I kept making that mistake in 2008.

COMPLETED! I think I successfully avoided this man's overhyped acting talent. I even avoided The Big Lebowski.

-Throw a mint julep party. I have a humongous bottle of Maker's Mark hidden in my apartment, which I bought a long time ago to throw a fabulous mint julep party. Why haven't I done this yet?

ABORTED!
That dusty bottle of Maker's Mark, approximately the size of my head, is still hidden in my apartment. In 2010!!! Mint Juleps! My place! This summer!

-Homeless people make me uncomfortable. I think I'm going to stay the course on this one.

COURSE STAYED!

-Pay more attention to ladies' butts. You ladies don't get enough credit for your butts. Occasionally, I hope to notify a lady if she has something special.

PROCESSED!
Ladys' butts were routinely analysed, data collected, & I will be issuing a full report on Lady Butts of 2009 sometime in the 2011 academic year.

-Drink more beverages out of tall glasses. A tall glass of water. A tall glass of juice.

FORGOTTEN!
I forgot about this one after a few months, but it's a damn good idea. To more tall glasses in the Tweens!

-Sing more hymnody in small groups.

LOST!
Time is running low before the rapture to get thru the whole bloody psalmody.

-Date more white girls.

FAILED!
Four monosyllabic words, & I think I failed on each one individually.

-There are several cocktails I wish to invent. Specifically, my idea for the Long Thailand Iced Tea, which would involve some combination of sweetened condensed milk, iced tea, & all the booze in Long Island.

INCOMPLETE!
That cocktail sounds delicious, how come I never invented it yet?

-Jesus Christ walked on American soil.

SUCCESS!
Jesus Christ walked on American soil.

-Write a Text Message Novel. This has already started, more on that anon, but I would like to see this project thru.

UNFINISHED!
It was so good too, but I think the fad passed.

-Female Professional Midget Wrestlers.

DISREGARDED!

-616 Blog Posts. You probably saw this coming. That's like two a day. Are we up to it? The mathematical gods demand it.

MISCARRIED!
And we tried so hard too! 602!? We were almost there, despite heroic efforts from all parties, pinch hitters, we just didn't quite make it. Thank you all for your handsome mugs.

-A new format for this website. I'd like it to be more magazine style, like the Huffington Post, with different sections, like Fashion & Architecture. We are looking at the horizon of greatness.

NOPE!
Next year! A fancy new blog format! We want it! We will work towards it!

Grainne's resolution, to meet all her itwaslost friends in Bulgaria, was a roaring success, of course.

Like I said, my twenty-ten resolutions are a work-in-progress (they nearly all have to do with owning more money), but I do have two decade resolutions:

-Kill a man.

-Sleep with a woman.

Onward & upward!

From the Archives: $1000 - THE GREATEST APARTMENT IN THE HISTORY OF NEW YORK

There was some talk of amazing craigslist posts, which led me to dig out a copy of our 2004 publication, The Limimnibus Papers: What Is It From The Sky? (Volume II of our Sarah Lawrence College literary journal) & read this post we found back in the early days of craiglist.com. There was some discussion about its authenticity, but I maintain that it would be too good of a hoax, there's too many neurotic details to have been published as a joke:

$1000 - THE GREATEST APARTMENT IN THE HISTORY OF NEW YORK

---

Reply to: anon-25367645@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-02-28, 9:58PM EST

There comes a time in one's life when they are able to experience something TRULIEE GREAT:

Spacious, beautiful, elegant, primmed with creative sophistication and modern style Studio Apartment. BREATHTAKING views of the city and a general feeling of comfort and well being. Short commute (45-60 min) to Manhattan. THIS APARTMENT IS TRULLY SPECIAL, and you will share with devouted, delightful, and really awsome roommate! I am a practicing muslim (with strong beliefs in Christianity), vegan, and aspiring musician/composer/teacher. You must be a self-made individual, preferably over 30, MATURE, CONSIDERATE, NEAT, open to other cultures and experiences, and must have an annual income no less then 50,000 dollars and impeccable credit and references (I will ask for 3 separate references, including past employment and your tennet history). No actors, writers, waiters, school teachers, and Corporate folk who work at the follwing companies: Sachi and Sachi, Morgan Stanely, or Starbucks.
You are more then welcome to use all furniture in the studio, but I must ask that you bring your own plates and cooking utensiles (please no meat). I will also ask that you do not use the kitchen area on Mondays, Thurdays, and weekends, and that while I am away (which is not too often because I give accordian lessons to students in the apartment), that you are able to take care my three cats.
Available ASAP for 6 months, with an opportunity to extend the lease for 2 years (with a 10% rent discount!!!) I believe in selflessness and purity, and my actions speak for themselves.

$1000/week OR 4000$/Month (I would prefer 6 Months payed up front, Cash) + small brokers free (20% negotiable) + Deposit + Utilities (we will split my magazine subscriptions)
(If you wish to negotiate the rent, I will be willing to offer you free acordian lessons and a 13 dollar metrocard)

This is an ABSOLUTE STEAL AND WILL NOT LAST LONG! DO NOT WAIT! It is more then just a fabulous apartment share, It's a SHARRING OF MINDS, OF SPIRITS, AND OF THE ETERNAL ENERGY, ALL IN THE GREATEST CITY IN ALL THE WORLD: NEW YORK CITY. DO NOT BE AFRAID OR QUESTION YOURSELF TOO MUCH: LET GO OF THE PAST AND BE PRESENT, FOR A BIG PRESENT IS WAITING FOR YOU, A REALLY COOL ROOMMATE IN THE GREATEST APARTMENT IN NEW YORK! THE GREATEST APARTMENT IN NEW YORK!!!!!

www.itwaslost.org New Years Resolutions

I have been thinking hard about how to make 2009 a super special year. It has often been noted that slight changes in behavior can have major long-reaching consequences. There's no better time than during Berkeley, California's cold dark winters to attempt to improve ourselves. If other itwaslost.org contributers wish to edit this blog-post & add more resolutions, I invite you to make it an open discussion.

-Stop going to see movies starring Philip Seymour Hoffman. I don't know why I kept making that mistake in 2008.
-Throw a mint julep party. I have a humongous bottle of Maker's Mark hidden in my apartment, which I bought a long time ago to throw a fabulous mint julep party. Why haven't I done this yet?
-Homeless people make me uncomfortable. I think I'm going to stay the course on this one.
-Pay more attention to ladies' butts. You ladies don't get enough credit for your butts. Occasionally, I hope to notify a lady if she has something special.
-Drink more beverages out of tall glasses. A tall glass of water. A tall glass of juice.
-Sing more hymnody in small groups.
-Date more white girls.
-There are several cocktails I wish to invent. Specifically, my idea for the Long Thailand Iced Tea, which would involve some combination of sweetened condensed milk, iced tea, & all the booze in Long Island.
-Jesus Christ walked on American Soil.
-Write a Text Message Novel. This has already started, more on that anon, but I would like to see this project thru.
-Female Professional Midget Wrestlers.
-616 Blog Posts. You probably saw this coming. That's like two a day. Are we up to it? The mathematical gods demand it.
-A new format for this website. I'd like it to be more magazine style, like the Huffington Post, with different sections, like Fashion & Architecture. We are looking at the horizon of greatness.

Apologies & "Resume should have Personality"

My computer just freaked out from a virus & there was a sketchy warning while rebooting, so if I disappear whilst during our attempt to reach 308 posts, you know what happened. I've got to install some updates & do scans & backup & whatever else you're supposed to do in this universe. It happened when my housemate downloaded a form with a sample resume - She managed to find some of the sketchiest resume-help sites available on the internet, including this amazingly helpful essay called "Resume should have Personality" which I will quote in full:

What do you feel, do resume needs to have personality? Yes, it is so. Through you have very good personality but if you do not convey on your resume then, it has got no use. Therefore, you should always make your resume, which can reflect your personality over reader.

After making your resume, first of all, it is necessary for you to read your resume. You should read it in same method what professional managers do read of any candidates. Do you feel it interesting? Or you are feeling it too boring to read your own resume? Do you feel that you will fall asleep while reading it at ten o clock in evening? Generally, the human resource professionals follow it.

It is not at all easy to make a good and personality resume. It is not an easy work to make a resume, which can be read from top to bottom. Well, to make your resume good and interesting, you need to be active as well as you need to use vibrant language in whole resume. Using vibrant language does not mean that you need to use lot of slang as well as jargon in your resume. You should definitely use it but quite contrary times. At same time, if you use flowery speech then, you will find your resume to be tossed out. Well, over all, it is necessary for you to use the language or words, which shows enthusiasm, responsibility as well as confidence and accomplishments too, which makes employer or reader attached to your resume.

You should always use the words in resume, which let your personality demonstrate through your resume. At same time, you need to make your cover letter too such interesting. There are number of resumes, which are too dull as well as lifeless. Many at times, it becomes too painful to read such resumes. You should use the words in resume, which makes feel the employer that you enjoy with your work and you feel too good in working hard each day.

It is necessary to make your too professional but at same time, you should take care that your resume does not turn up to be boring. You can make your resume bit interesting by changing out the words from there to here or by adding some new words. You should show the energy power as well as excitement about the career field selected.

If my computer restarts, stay tuned for our end-of-the-year bashery. Including~! -New Years Resoltions, & some correspondences about about text message novels & hookah-bars in Istanberkeley.

Inter-office Memo: A Few New Items

We have seven or so more posts in thirty-something hours to reach our stentorian goal of 308 posts in 2008. I've added a couple of things to the sidebar - 1) an easy link for people to get the feed (if you use any of the services to follow blogs, et cetera). 2) I've replaced the "labels" catergories with "DEPARTMENTS", so now we can tag our posts any wild combination of relevant words & not clog up the "labels" part. Also, I think tagging things like "Al Franken" helps the search engines, (but keep tagging musical items "music" & shisha items "shisha" so that we can develop those general interest category sites, yes.) Some DEPARTMENTS we will be further developing in 2009: -Imaginary America (basically anywhere that isn't South-West Virginia where real Americans live), -The Dead (Olaf Mary's fascinating series on obituaries), -Lizard People (a peek into the lives of the lacertic humanoids that humbly stay off the ballots & have to be written in.) Thirdly, there's the creepy "followers" section below, if you wish to make yourself known publicly as a follower of this blog. Do it!