Hello again - only a few days left of the Advent Calendar of Non-Overplayed Christmas Songs. This song, a traditional from Trinidad called "De Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy" or "Glorious Kingdon," from an old Kings Singers' Christmas album, has a hilarious rhythm track. This is the only video of it:
You can hear the rhythm better in the studio version, on Spotify here. And here's our Infinite Playlist of Non-Overplayed Christmas Songs (listen on random!)
HOMELESS WASSAIL
(Ian Robb)
"Wassail, wassail,all over the town,
Our cup is white and our ale is brown"
But huddled on the iron grate
we poor and hungry curse our fate.
No wassail bowl for such as these
No turkey scraps, no ale nor cheese,
This Christmas Eve our heart's desire
Is a bottle of gin and a trashcan fire.
Good Christian, mind, as home you go
With dreams of holly and mistletoe
That the holly bears a dreadful thorn
For those who wake to a frozen dawn.
Oh, where is He, that holy child
Once born of Mary, meek and mild?
And whither peace, goodwill to men
Now and forevermore, amen?
All ye who dine with face aglow
In Reninensi atrio (in the Queen's hall---Latin)
Pray pause awile at pleasure's door
And sup some sorrow with the poor.
"Wassail, wassail,all over the town,
Our cup is white and our ale is brown"
This cold and hunger, pain and care
Sweet Jesus Christ, it's hard to bear.
copyright Ian Robb/SOCAN
Chords as we play them:
amin G emin
amin emin/B C D
amin G emin
amin emin/B C D
C G emin
amin emin/B C D
C G emin
amin emin/B C D
Brought to you by itwaslost's Very Special Department of Arnophilia & The Blue Myself's One Minute Christmas Carols - we present A Buggerer's Christmas.
A Buggerer's Christmas
Bb-dim Esus7 E7
If you see a stranger in your manger,
Bb-dim Esus7 E7
Your babe is not in any danger.
A F#min D
Ever stop to think that maybe,
Dmin A
They weren't looking for a baby?
E F#min
Fa la la, faaaa.
Bb-dim Esus7 E7
The shepherd's run in adoration,
Bb-dim Esus7 E7
Not to Mary's son, but to his barn companions.
A F#min D
We all need some warmth this winter, I feel ya,
Dmin A
'Tis the season for arnophilia.
A F#min
It's a buggerer's Christmas
D Dmin Bmin E A
All we like sheep, we've gone astray, Christ was born today.
F#min
You'll find me in the crèches.
D Bmin E A
We're rolling in the deep, we're rolling in the hay.
E F#min
Fa la la, baaaa.
©2011 The Manna Tease
Another One Minute Christmas Carol for day 13 of our Advent Calendar of Non-Overplayed Christmas Songs:
Christmas with Andrew Jackson
In 1814 this house was burned by Limeys,
But now let’s decorate with candles & pine trees.
Let’s challenge Charles Dickens to a duel,
And use your cabin’s logs for fuel.
John Calhoun & Floride croon,
Christmas with Andrew Jackson,
Christmas with the Cherokee & the Whigs, Ho ho higgy,
The feast will have piggy, and the pudding will be figgy,
Christ was born today.
Old Hickory’s first lady was guilty of bigamy.
©2011 The Manna Tease
This song speaks for itself: The Fa-la-la-ing is Coming!
Dmin Bb
Remember, remember
F C C#aug Dmin
The fifth of November used to be November,
Bb F
But November is the new December
C C#aug Dmin
Did you hear a bell from a sleigh?
Dmin Bb Dmin
It’s coming, it’s coming! The fa-la-la-ing.
Bb
The fa-la-la-ing is coming.
F C
Ba-da-boom ba-da-bing,
C#aug
Christ was born today.
Dmin Bb F C C#aug
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Dmin C
It’s the fa-la-la-ing for sure,
Bb
It’s clawing at your door,
Amin
It’s sawing thru the floor.
Gmin
It’s gnawing with its den-ture,
F
It’s drawing a pic-ture
C C#aug
That Christmas is only seven weeks away.
Now, here's a strange chocolate for the advent calendar... What was Hot Chocolate thinking when they wrote a Christmas song with the lyric "We need a brand new Jesus"?
Hello, this is the Advent Calendar of Non-Overplayed Christmas Songs. Today, a double feature. I heard Stephen Metcalf on the Slate Culture Gabfest recommend this Christmas song Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses, a nice 1980s girly rap with satisfying brass arrangements. Look, someone synchronized it to their Christmas decorations:
Here's the link on Spotify.
And when I was trying to find that song, I typed in "Christmas Rappin'," thinking it was spelled that way. Of course, tho, there is a Christmas Rappin' by Kurtis Blow from 1979! "Now I'm the guy named Kurtis Blow / And Christmas is one thing I know. / So every year just about this time / I celebrate it with a rhyme." Poetry!
Here's that song on Spotify. And here's our epic several-day-long Infinite Non-Overplayed Christmas Playlist (listen on random!)
In related news, HuffPost has a post called "15 Most Annoying Christmas Songs." There are some truly bad songs there I'd never heard of, like Simple Plan's "Christmas List," which has the lyrics "Santa is coming tonight / And I want a car & I want a life."
My Fiancée Ran Off With a Christmas Elf
E D A E
My Fiancée ran off with a Christmas Elf,
C#min G# A B7
I guess you could say she stooped to the lowest shelf.
C#min G# A E
She said was going to leave, and she was gone on Christmas Eve,
D A E
My Fiancée left me alone Christmas Day.
I regret being a nerd, I regret being a slob.
Her new boyfriend might be indentured, but at least he’s got a job.
He might be small of stature, but at least he looks up to her.
I’ve no more Fiancée, Christ was born today.
My Fiancée ran off with a Christmas Elf,
I guess I’ll sit here crying, drinking eggnog by myself.
All I want for Christmas is to punch his stupid little face.
All she wanted was an iPod, but she got a tripod.
©2011 The Manna TeaseIf E is a tricky key & you want to sing it in a lower Elvis-y voice, try these chords:
Listening to hundreds of Christmas songs has poisoned my creative juices, & I started writing some short ones which I'll call "The Blue Myself's One Minute Christmas Carols." The first one, written & recorded quickly yesterday, is called "Christmas with Richard Nixon". (You can hear the common cold in my voice.)
Christmas with Richard Nixon
D Emin A
My wassail cup is filled with gin & vermouth,
D Emin A
‘Tis the season to be jowly & uncouth.
F# Bmin
God bless the master of this house,
G A D
Was that a break-in or a mouse?
F# Bmin A
Red phones ring, & the children sing,
D F# Bmin G
Christmas with Richard Nixon,
D F# Bmin G
Christmas with the jews & the gays, Ho ho hey,
D Bmin7
The snow would be grey if there weren’t no EPA.
Emin A
Christ bas born today,
A A7 D
But I saw Mommy kiss a commie.
©2011 The Manna Tease
There's a couple good versions of the Welsh carol, the Gower Wassail, on spotify. I was glad that Wikipedia had this handy helpful chart for the choruses:
Now master and mistress let your company forbear
To fill up our wassail with you cider and beer
We want none of your pale beer, nor none of your small
But a drop of your kilderkin, that's next to the wall
More lyrics from Wikipedia.Infinite Non-Overplayed Christmas Playlist (listen on random.)
| Shira Kammen - A Counting Song .mp3 | ||
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
Come and I will sing you,
What shall I sing you?
I will sing you one alone,
What shall be the one alone?
One is one and one alone.
Come to my dilly, come dally, come dilly
Alone, and ever shall remain so.
Repeat and add two, three, etc., increasing to
Come and I will sing you,
What shall I sing you?
I will sing you twelve of them,
What shall be the twelve of them?
Twelve are the followers all in a row,
'Leven, eleven all gone to heaven,
Ten are the ten command-i-ments,
Nine of them's Aunt Mary Ann,
Eight of them are the filly-shine white,
Seven are the shiners up in the sky,
Six are the six that never did mix,
Five are the oxen standing by,
Four, the carollers at the door,
Three are the three that's in Bethlea,
Two are the Chris-si-mas babes in green,
One is one and one alone.
Come to my dilly, come dally, come dilly
Alone, and ever shall remain so.
In Berlin
D Bmin Emin7 Asus4 Bmin A D
In Berlin, a ghost town in Central Nevada, lived a boy without any name.
D Bmin Emin7 Asus4 Bmin A D
He had built a shack out of broken bottles, a recycled gold rush claim.
D D/C# Bmin Asus4 D Bmin A
And in the nights when the desert’s frigid, his grandmother’s ghost would visit,
D Bmin Emin7 Asus4 Bmin A
And they’d sup on scorpion tail cocktails, & silently hide from the spirits.
And there was a hill to the East of the ruins that his ghosty Granny had warned,
Don’t you ever go there, the pinyon pins round the mines is mysteriously burned,
But being a boy with an tween’s free will & the imaginings of a devil,
He was bored one Wednesday while out exploring, and he found himself on the hill.
Down into the mine-shaft climbed the child, no one was there to watch him,
And he lit a match in the ancient darkness, & wandered round with caution.
A humongous monster was deeply sleeping, as if for millions of years.
With the arms of a rat, & the wings of an eagle, & brobdingnagian ears.
But they weren’t alone, & poltergeist who haunted far & wide
Knocked some rocks on the supports, and a noisy collapse sealed off only the way outside.
The monster woke & it gasped for breath, a ten thousand pound canary,
And it grabbed the boy, burst through the earth, & they flew off in the fiery sky.
©2011 The Manna Tease
C G C C7
Keep It clean, my mama said keep It clean (2x)
F
Driving all night, got a hankering for something
C A7
Think I'm In the mood for some hot-man muffins
D7 G Gaug
Mmmm, Sounds so fine, yes indeed
Keep It Clean, my Daddy said keep it clean (2x)
Ain't looking for a fight, ain't looking for trouble
Howdy Mr Right have you met Mister Bubble
Hey, put 'er there, ain't she sweet.
F
Rubbin' and a lovin' and a scrubbin' and a truckin'
C A7
Maybe if we're lucky just a little bear huggin'
D7 G7 C F C
Know what I mean, Keep it clean
Rubbin' and a lovin' and a scrubbin' and a truckin'
Maybe if we're lucky just a little bear huggin'
Know what I mean, Keep it clean
G D7 G
G D7 G G7
C
G E7
A7 D7Please "like" / follow the Manna Tease on facebooks!
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