January 31, 2008

Correspondences: Tick Tick

Only Hours left for my January Poll (in the lefthand sidebar!)



Request from Mr Byan Aja:

Could you make a t-shirt with Obama's name, translated literally from Mandarin after its conversion into Chinese characters for the California ballot? "Oh Intellectual Overcome Profound Oh Gemstone" = Barack Obama.


Also, if you were already going to donate to the Obama campaign, Ms. Grâce "Rat-Arse" Marlier suggests doing it before midnight -
https://donate.barackobama.com/match - they're going for spectacular new records, & money (from grassroots sources) means voice & power.


January 30, 2008

Stop the Presses: Art Garfunkel thinks Thomas Pynchon is "Fraudulent"

I always love when public figures are asked to say their favorite books. All of a sudden we're in college again, judging people by their reading lists. Obama tastefully claimed he liked Toni Morrison & Herman Melville. H. Clinton went for Little Woman & The Poisonwood Bible. Mitt Romney, alarmingly, "revealed in an interview that his favourite book was Battlefield Earth, by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard". Whoa...

This is all from a short piece in The New Yorker's Talk of the Town, about how many big books Art Garfunkel has read. He makes two rather sweeping statements about American Literature which deserve consideration:


I tried Gravity's Rainbow, & I thought it was fraudulent.

Paul [Simon], after all, is one of our greatest writers.

There's some truth there, that Simon has some great lyrics, & that Pynchon's novels contain high levels of artificiality. And, GR, after all, is the king of unread college bookshelf books. But overall, I'll dare to disagree, that Pynchon is a greater writer than Paul Simon, even if the latter has, with his ubiquitous words, moved far more people.

We think it's easy
Sometimes it's easy

But it's not easy
You're going to break down and cry

We're not important
We should be grateful
And if you're wondering why...


-Paul Simon, "Love"

And speaking of fraud, if you never saw this, during the "plagiarism" scandal surrounding Ian McEwan-Face's Atonement - (turns out he used historical sources for his historical novel! What is Literature coming to!) - Thomas Pynchon sent this type-written letter to the media (click on the image to read it larger):




And, Gravity's Rainbow also made the news this week, photographed inside Tom Stoppard's satchel, alongside Alex Ross's The Rest Is Noise. (Word has it that Mr Ross hit the Colbert Report last night, but I haven't seen it yet.) I wonder if Mr Stoppard found any of those books to be fraudulent? And, where do I get myself one of those nifty satchels!


January 29, 2008

the Kennedy endorsement shirt, part 2.


well, I did make the screen, and one with a bit of yackety-shmakety (see at left). I am mainly absorbed in screenprinting prints of it on heavy watercolor paper (they look purty. I don't think even the coldest republican or Hillary supporter can rip up a nice clean print on good paper) to distribute throughout new york city, yee haw! and have concluded that I have neither the time nor the energy nor the money to print shirts etc. at the moment. with that said, if anybody is into the graphic, I have set up a cafepress store that has a cornucopia of Obama stuff with this graphic. including packs of 20 postcards and notecards, which struck me as good things to leave in the neighbors mailboxes at night, send to random addresses, etcetera.hmmm. Cafepress also delivers really fast (pre-super tuesday for example), which I am not always guaranteed to do.
cafepress link is: http://www.cafepress.com/glasshorse

the aforementioned yackety shmakety is on the backs of some shirts and inside some notecards.

not an advertisement! just an FYI.

January 28, 2008

the Kennedy endorsement shirt




First Obama shirt to hit the presses- the Kennedy endorsement shirt! manipulate all those now older more conservative people who voted for JFK, but now think they should probably vote for Hillary, into associating Barack with Jack!...coming on the heels of Caroline Kennedy's op-ed "a president like my father" in the NYTimes, in which she endorses Obama, as well as Ted Kennedy's soon-to-be-announced Obama endorsement. any takers? and suggestions for shit to write on the back or whatever? I'm currently leaning towards just the graphic.

UPDATE: Thanks, Chrisasian, you actually can buy this shirt, here:
http://www.cafepress.com/glasshorse

More Quixotic Filmmaking: Terry Gilliam's role in Heath Ledger's Fate

Friends of the Blog - (Hello, there!) - who know of Itwaslost.org's keen interest in the development of the film The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, point me to this article from People Magazine, which I will quote below in full. Besides our beloved Terry Gilliam's horrendous luck with certain projects - please see the film Lost in La Mancha (about the death of his Quixote), & all of the documentaries on the Criterion edition of Brazil, & the awful & incorrect reviews for his wonderful Baron Münchhausen, for the full cursed story of his career - he is an intense director, who demands a lot from his actors. Here is the latest about the effort to keep the Imaginarium alive after the death of Heath Ledger:

Director Terry Gilliam is feverishly working to figure out how to keep Heath Ledger alive on film, according to one of the late actor's costars in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which Ledger was still shooting when he died last week.

"Terry's throwing himself into the job of trying to salvage the picture," veteran actor Christopher Plummer told PEOPLE over the weekend.

Despite earlier reports that the director might shelve the $30 million production, Gilliam, whom Plummer describes as "terribly saddened" by Ledger’s death is "trying to work out at this moment how to continue on. Fortunately, because the film deals with magic, there is a way, perhaps, of turning Heath into other people and then, using stills and I think they call it CGI…

"Terry was a very good friend [of Heath's]," adds Plummer. "He very wants to go on with the movie, and I can very much understand why. Because he wants to dedicate it to Heath, of course."

Ledger and Plummer both left the London portion of the movie's shoot last weekend and were due to continue filming next week in Vancouver. Leaving England, says Plummer, "Heath was in very high spirits. He was just enjoying himself tremendously. It's a rather fanciful script, and he was wonderful in this role."

Confirming earlier reports that Ledger hadn't been feeling well on set, Plummer says, "we all caught colds because we were shooting outside on horrible, damp nights. But Heath's went on and I don't think he dealt with it immediately with the antibiotics.…I think what he did have was the walking pneumonia."

On top of that, "He was saying all the time, 'dammit, I can't sleep'…and he was taking all these pills [to help him]."

As well as the damp cold and lack of sleep, Plummer describes the shoot as rigorous. "We had to shoot every second we were out there…there was hardly any time to go into the tent or the car to keep warm. We just kept shooting…boom, boom, boom…there was no pause. It was very, very hard work."

Ledger would have appreciated the show-must-go-on mentality, says his co-star. "He was terribly likeable and obviously enormously talented…and the combination was terrific. It's such a shame these things have to happen to the good ones."

As for reports that Gilliam has approached Johnny Depp to step into Ledger's role, the actor's rep tells PEOPLE: "There have been no official talks, and he is currently working on Public Enemies for Michael Mann for Universal."


I love the implication that a combination of Johnny Depp & computer graphics can save any movie, so long as it's about MAGIC. I would prefer to see Gilliam use some of his more signature techniques - old-fashion camera tricks, models, puppets, & animation - to put Ledger's head on Depp's body. Put that in the promo, & they can easily make back their $30 Million.

January 27, 2008

field guide to identifying unicorns by sound and call for obama t-shirt suggestions




I am preparing my screenprinting enterprise (anybody out there with a mimosa's witnesses t-shirt, there's a good chance my screenprinting enterprise was responsible for it) to make a limited edition BARACK OBAMA shirt. I need suggestions about how to make this shirt as awesome and as likely to make people want to vote for barack as possible. please give me suggestions! you will get a shirt, I promise!

my first idea was to quote the caucus carol "barack obama. he's no white zombie clone"
but I have a feeling in my gut that other people have better ideas. share, por favor!

-Grace

January 26, 2008

Photos & Two Videos from Burns Night 2008

Remember Burns Night 2008? It was last night, &, let it be known, there was poetry recitation, singing of Scottish Songs, & the consumption of vegan haggis & that green faerie, Absinthe, a tradition at not a few Burns Night 2008s.

Here are two rather mysterious videos taken by Jenny Ruth of two of the songs. I apologize for the dark shaky quality of both the videos & the playing. Burns' immortal poetry combined with wormwood makes things dark & shaky.





And here are some photographs! Too bad Miss Jenny Ruth didn't take a picture of herself in her most pretty wig.



And the morning after, feeling fine:


Invitation: Burns Night 2008

Thank you to the ten people who attended our spectacular Burns Night last night. There was merriment, speechifying, songs & orated poems, vegan haggis on parade, absinthe, more absinthe, gay dancing, & a tribute to Jorge Luis Borges. Videos to be posted soon! Here's the invitation from Facebook:

Burns Night 2008 (On the Eventually of the Scottish Bard's 249th Year)

Come, bumpers high, express your joy,The bowl we maun renew it, The tappet hen, gae bring her ben!


Information

Event Info
Name:
Burns Night 2008 (On the Eventually of the Scottish Bard's 249th Year)
Tagline:
Come, bumpers high, express your joy,The bowl we maun renew it, The tappet hen, gae bring her ben!
Host:
James Welsch, Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden, Alaine Ball
Type:
Time and Place
Date:
Friday, January 25, 2008
Time:
7:30pm - 11:55pm
Location:
Hill of Virtue
Street:
_ Harold Ave
City/Town:
San Francisco, CA

Contact Info
Phone:
415.---.1965
Email:

Description

When first my brave Johnie lad came to this town,
He had a blue bonnet that wanted the crown;
But now he has gotten a hat and a feather,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!

Cock up your beaver, and cock it fu' sprush,
We'll over the border, and gie them a brush;
There's somebody there we'll teach better behaviour,
Hey, brave Johnie lad, cock up your beaver!

-Robert Burns

2008's Burns Night will be themed after Kenneth Anger, the gay mystic filmmaker, so any combination of Scottish attire & gay mystic would be recommended - utilikilts?

Those unfamiliar with traditional Burns Nights can read the proper itinerary here: http://www.robertburns.org/suppers/itinerary.shtml

Due to certain hippie-dippie Californian dietary restrictions, Mr Welsch will be baking a VEGAN HAGGIS for the Parade of the Haggis.

Sadly, not in attendance will be Mr James Eliot Quill, whose birthday is shared with the Scottish National Bard. He will be having a simultaneous Birthday Party in Portland, Oregon, to which & thru which there will be several portals, conference calls, & live webblogging.

Take the BART to Balboa Park, walk East on Ocean (or Geneva), go left after the gas station, all the way to the top of the hill on Harold.

Photos

Displaying 2 photos.



Posted Items

Displaying 1 posted item.


Confirmed Guests


The Wall

James Welsch wrote
at 4:35pm yesterday
I just told my neighbor John (age seventyish): "Happy Robert Burns Day!"
And he said: "It's Robert Burns day? Oh, great, he's an aquarius..."

Paula Peng (no network) wrote
at 11:51am yesterday
wish you (I) was/were/could-be here/there. what is this painting? it's nice.

Laurie McDonald (Santa Fe, NM) wrote
at 8:34am yesterday
Thanks for the invite, James! I'd like to reciprocate with an invitation to the 23rd Annual Robert Burns night here in Santa Fe on February 9th! It's sponsored by the Associated Scots of Santa Fe and Clan Donald, and I guess they assume I'm Scottish, or at least of Scottish extraction, because I received an invite to that event, too. (I've always felt more simpatico with the Aboriginal people of Western Australia's Pilbara region, actually). Here’s the enviable menu for that event: fire roasted poblano chile filled with spaghetti squash, leeks, sweet corn, and oyster mushrooms, accompanied by roasted garlic polenta, yam mash, and garbanzo bean salad with oven-roasted tomato coulis and balsamic reduction. With a triple chocolate mousse with Kahlua crème anglaise for desert. Are you drooling yet?

"Brian Aha" (San Francisco, CA) wrote
at 10:42am on January 23rd, 2008
Veggie haggis is firmly established in Scotland. It's available in every pub or corner store. Very authentic. I will bring my FC Heart of Midlothian scarf.

Sarah-Louise Raillard (New York, NY) wrote
at 8:03am on January 23rd, 2008
Your parties always seem quite fun, but let's remember that I live in NYC...:)

Fiona Willis (Berkeley) wrote
at 6:53pm on January 22nd, 2008
Sorry guys I've already got plans for Friday- pity, it would be good to have a Brit (with distant, somewhat tentative, Scottish roots) in attendance at such an event. See you soon xx

Shaun Winter (no network) wrote
at 6:48pm on January 22nd, 2008
I do thank you, but I will still be in Laguna. Though I am starting to think that maybe I should try living in the Berkeley.

January 24, 2008

What does Mary-Kate Olsen have to do with anything?

Here's a timeline of Heath Ledger's masseuse finding him dead on Tuesday afternoon. Why on earth did she call Mary-Kate Olsen three times before she called 911?

2:45 p.m. [Diana] Wolozin shows up for [Heath] Ledger's massage appointment and knocks on his door.

3 p.m. She calls his cell phone to wake him up.

She sets up her massage table.

3:17 p.m. She calls [Mary-Kate] Olsen. The conversation lasts 49 seconds.

3:20 p.m. She calls Olsen again. The conversation lasts one minute and 39 seconds.

3:24 p.m. She calls Olsen a third time. The conversation lasts 21 seconds.

3:26 p.m. She calls 911.

3:33 p.m. Paramedics arrive and go up in the elevator to the apartment with Olsen's security guards (whom Olsen had called to check out the scene).

Paramedics do not allow the security guards into the bedroom where Ledger is.

3:34 p.m. Wolozin calls Olsen a fourth time. The length of that conversation is unknown.

3:36 p.m. Ledger is declared dead.


It reads like strange police poetry. Or, staged as a fifty minute existential one-act, where our protagonist, confronted with a perplexing reality, for a dramatic ten minutes, can only think to repeatedly call Mary-Kate Olsen.

And, amazingly sadly, my favorite director has the worst luck around:
According to Us Weekly, the Terry Gillian production of 'The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus', which Ledger was partially though filming, has been scrapped and everyone let go.



January 23, 2008

Youtube Superstar: "Elect Barack Obama", on the Electric Fluke

Forty-six years in the making, finally I present on Youtube, after the Specials' "Free Nelson Mandela"! We have "Elect Barack Obama!"





Here are the lyrics:

Elect!
Elect!
Elect Barack Obama!
Elect Barack Obama!

A century after slavery,
A Kenyan daddy & a Kansan mommy,
Conceived of a boy in Oahu, Hawai'i,
And now he's got the hope to set our country free,
Sing with me!

Elect!
Elect!
Elect Barack Obama!
Elect Barack Obama!

Forever organizing the streets of our community,
Never a Wal-Mart greeter in the DC lobby,
No! Not drunk till he was forty in some Skull & Bones Fraternity,
So vote! our country free in love & equality,
Sing with me!

Elect!
Elect!
Elect Barack Obama!
Elect Barack Obama!

January 22, 2008

There Were Alligators in the New York Sewers

Jan Harold Brunvand, in his famous book on urban legends, The Vanishing Hitchhiker (1981), debunks most of the teenagey scary-story myths on which he reports. One of the most bizarre ones tho, about alligators in the New York City sewers, he finds corroborative evidence proving true. The standard urban legend was that kids all over the city had bought baby alligators (imported for sale or brought back from vacation from Florida), &, when they grew too big or dangerous, flushed them down the toilets. Whereupon, they grew to giant, blind, sometimes albino, rat-eating, secret monsters (the story, like all urban legends, has many variants). Thomas Pynchon - another reclusive blind, albino monster - elaborates in an episode from his novel V (1963):

Did he remember the baby alligators? Last year, or maybe the year before, kids all over Nueva York bought these alligators for pets. Macy's was selling them for fifty cents; every child, it seemed, had to have one. But soon the children grew bored with them. Some set them loose in the streets, but most flushed them down the toilets. And these had grown & reproduced, had few of rats & sewage, so that now they moved big, blind, albino, all over the sewer system. Down there, God knew how many there were. Some had turned cannibal because in their neighborhood the rats had all been eaten, or had fled in terror.

There is also the Alligator Patrol, which hunts them down. Brunvand then describes 1960's legends about a potent "White Weed" which grows "lushly in the sewer because of the nutrients," (pg. 92), but people are deterred from harvesting because of the alligators. As I said, he dismisses as having no origin most of the legends he describes in the book. But this one, remarkably, can be linked back to newspaper stories from the 1930s (this headline from the New York Times, February 10th, 1935):


ALLIGATOR FOUND IN UPTOWN SEWER
Youths Shoveling Snow Into Manhole
See the Animal Churning in Icy Water
SNARE IT AND DRAG IT OUT
Reptile Slain by Rescuers
When It Gets Vicious-
Whence It Came Is Mystery


The article continues with the full story. Furthermore, there are public works records corroborating the existence of alligators:

According to a former New York City Commissioner of Sewers there was a problem with alligators in the sewers in the mid 1930s. In his book on the development of utilities beneath Manhattan Island, titled The World Beneath the City, Robert Daley claims that recurrent reports of alligators in the sewers finally forced Sewer Commissioner Teddy May to investigate the situation personally. May told Daley that he did find alligators (averaging two-feet long); he immediately launched a campaign to eradicate them [like Pynchon's Alligator Patrol!], & was able to announce their extermination by 1937. [Brunvand, pg. 97]

There's more info, & a host of popular culture references, at this wikipedia article: Sewer Alligators.

''It's crazy, you know,'' Diana Odetalla said. ''I don't know where alligators come from. Out of nowhere, I guess.''
-NY Times, "Alligator is Found", June 29th, 1997.

January 21, 2008

Jorge Luis Borges Invents the Internet Forty Years before Al Gore!

In the Occasion of Ritual, posted immediately below, Mr Quill refers to an article I sent him from the New York Times, which reports that Borges wrote of several internet-like phenomena in his postmodern science-fictiony short stories from the mid-Twentieth Century,-- like the univeral library & the infinite encyclopedia. I'll post here in full the quotes from Borges juxtaposed by the New York Times. I partially agree with Mr Quill, that the article is bunk - I'm not so sure why Senator George Allen had to be related to a quote from Funes the Memorious. But I think the general notion is notable.

Infinite Encyclopedia

THEN
“Who, singular or plural, invented Tlön? The plural is, I suppose, inevitable, since the hypothesis of a single inventor — some infinite Leibniz working in obscurity and self-effacement — has been unanimously discarded. It is conjectured that this ‘brave new world’ is the work of a secret society of astronomers, biologists, engineers, metaphysicians, poets, chemists, algebrists, moralists, painters, geometers, ... guided and directed by some shadowy man of genius. There are many men adept in those diverse disciplines, but few capable of imagination — fewer still capable of subordinating imagination to a rigorous and systematic plan. The plan is so vast that the contribution of each writer is infinitesimal.”

-“Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius” (1940)

NOW
Wikipedia
, the online encyclopedia project that began in 2001, now has a total of more than nine million articles in more 250 languages. There are more than 75,000 “active contributors,” many of whom remain anonymous. As it grows and becomes ever more influential, its operating logic remains a mystery. A favored saying among Wikipedia’s contributors is: “The problem with Wikipedia is that it only works in practice. In theory, it can never work.”

Life Is Like A Blog

THEN
“Two or three times he had reconstructed an entire day; he had never once erred or faltered, but each reconstruction had itself taken an entire day. ‘I, myself, alone, have more memories than all mankind since the world began,’ he said to me. ... And again, toward dawn: My memory, sir, is like a garbage heap.”

-“Funes” (1942)

NOW
The path from diary to blog to the frequently updated “microblog” has now descended to “life-logging.” Not content merely to record their thoughts or even daily activities, life-loggers record and preserve everything they see, hear, say and read during the day. The world-recognized early adopter is Gordon Bell, a 73-year-old computer programmer who wears an audio recorder as well as a tiny camera that snaps a picture every 60 seconds. A 2006 profile in Fast Company described Mr. Bell as at one time being “worried about filling up his hard-drive space too quickly.” He adds a gigabyte of information a month and figures that an average 72-year-old person would require one to three terabytes, “a hefty amount of storage.”

Nothing Is Forgotten

THEN
“I was struck by the thought that every word I spoke, every expression of my face or motion of my hand would endure in his implacable memory; I was rendered clumsy by the fear of making pointless gestures.”

-“Funes” (1942)

NOW
There once was a time when a poet could assert that “the revolution will not be televised.” But today, of course, even a politician’s informal meet-and-greet will be recorded for posterity. Senator George Allen of Virginia learned this in 2006 when a tape of him calling his opponent’s videographer a “macaca,” a racially tinged epithet, spread like a virus across the state and, soon, the world. He lost his re-election bid.

Universal Library

THEN
“From those incontrovertible premises, the librarian deduced that the Library is ‘total’ ... that is, all that is able to be expressed, in every language. ... When it was announced that the Library contained all books, the first reaction was unbounded joy. All men felt themselves the possessors of an intact and secret treasure. There was no personal problem, no world problem, whose eloquent solution did not exist.”

-“The Library of Babel” (1941)

NOW
In announcing that an ambitious international project to digitize universities’ book collections had passed the 1.5 million mark, one of its organizers, Raj Reddy, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, proclaimed in November: “This project brings us closer to the ideal of the Universal Library: making all published works available to anyone, anytime, in any language.” To others, the Internet itself is the Universal Library, where readers can search for recipes, medical treatments, barroom trivia or perhaps even Google themselves.


I also recommend this article from the February 5th, 2007, New Yorker, about Google's Quest for the Universal Library: Google's Moon Shot by Jeffrey Toobin.

And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
-Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AL), responsible for regulating the internet,
discussing the Net Neutrality Act

January 20, 2008

The Occasion of Ritual

Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:30:57 -0800
From:"James Eliot Quill" <_____________@gmail.com>
To:Send an Instant Message "Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden" <____@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: writing assignment #1
CC:"James Henry Welsch" <_@itwaslost.org>

Next assignment, please.

On Jan 7, 2008 4:27 PM, liam golden <____@yahoo.com> wrote:

hello,

Today is the first day of our new project: Writing Assignments

The first Assignment is:

JQ - The Occassion of Ritual
JW - The Ritual of Occassion

250 words or more

due: 1/18/08

Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Mary Golden


______________________________________________________________


The Occasion of Ritual

The mention of the Occasion of Ritual leads me back to a certain lost ritual of Quill’s past. A bottle of whiskey is inspiration and incentive, but I require also some initiative, which results in a three or four shot head-start. But there is no occasion. Or, the occasion can affectionately only be called a last-minute panic. I am reviving a ritual that has been drowned in booze for years and in these first moments it can hardly be called such. My initial movements are hampered by the rust on my typing fingers and the prolonged mental searches for words. This has surprisingly little relation to the alcohol, but rather is only the shuddering of an engine that has nothing wrong with it other than sitting inactive in the Massachusetts winter for too long.

Wikipedia, that Borgesian fountain of knowledge (although that article, Mr. Welsch, is bunk), tells me that “a ritual is a set of actions…[that] may be performed at regular intervals, or on specific occasions, or at the discretion of individuals or communities.” An inebriated pondering of this information tells me that this means that any combination of two or more actions is a ritual. The metaphysical implications of a ritual are thoroughly drowned in an overly liberal definition.

Does ritual require occasion? Does anything prompt the ritual of the lighting of a cigarette? In fact, we are bombarded by occasion. We have ingrained countless series of actions that the slightest incitement will cause us to mechanically repeat. The ticket reads “Farmer’s Omelet.” The pan is buttered, the stovetop fired, three eggs cracked, three eggs whisked, eggs dropped in pan, the left hand swirls the pan as the right hand stirs, flame off, cheese, potatoes, onions, bacon, slam the pan against the side, left hand grabs plate, omelet folds upon it. These actions are automatic, but they remain worthwhile. Our obligation is to perpetually provide the illusion of new occasions for the application of old rituals lest the years pass us by in the same bars throwing the same darts with the same microbrew pints in our hands.


January 19, 2008

Live Blogging from the Incline Village, Nevada, Democratic Caucus

Live Blogging from Washoe County Precinct 8108, Incline Village, Nevada. 11 A.M., January 19th, 2008.

10:45. It's a bright sunny day in Incline Village, the town of my childhood. There's several feet of icy snow everywhere. All the Republicans were leaving the high school as we were arriving, so it's a zoo here, with a few sarcastic remarks as the Democrats were filing in at twenty till 11. Precinct 8108 comprises the hills to the West of town, including Lower Tyner & Saddlehorn Drive, where I grew up. There are a ton of people still lined up to get in the High School Multipurpose Room, where I used to rehearse musical theater when I was twelve - making it surreal for me to be in this room. (I was once John in Peter Pan, so my Obama campaign songs are mixing in my head with "I'm flying! Flying! Flying!".) I've signed in as an observer, & amazingly, there are so many observers that we overflow the section set aside for us. I'm typing this up on a tiny green OLPC (One Laptop Per Child), a cute little thing with a tiny keyboard & a limited children's interface. They run for about a $100, & my parents bought two, which donates two others to under-priveleged kids. They are temporarily no longer for sale until they fix some things in the interface.

11:00. The coffee is pretty bad. It lacks any robust undertones & has a weak body. I had expected better of the North Lake Tahoe Democrats.

11:30. Nothing seems to be happening. People are schmoozing & reading the various initiatives & resolutions. I've spent the last half hour wrestling with this weird little computer. My father is better at campaigning for tiny children's laptops than for politics. I have to say, there are a lot of Obama pins.

11:40. Precinct 8110 (Crystal Bay) is in this room too, to make it more confusing, & they only get one delegate. They're just going to raise their hands to vote.

11:45. Donna reads a nice statement from Harry Reid, our Democratic Senator, which says he'll be caucusing in Searchlight, Nevada, today, where he is from. He stresses the importance of getting a Democrat in the White House, & mentions Yucca Mountain, an issue where Hillary has an upper hand over Obama (who has taken money from Nuclear Power.) Last chance to go to the bathroom before they close the doors.

12:10. Crystal Bay has voted. 9 for Clinton, 2 for Edwards, & 18 for Obama, so their delegate will be for Obama. Loud cheers. They get to go home first because someone was paying a babysitter - small town politics.

12:30. I should have worn my Jefferson wig, this really feels like old school democracy. She's counting how many caucus attendees there are by counting raised hands. They were expecting 44 people, & she counted 104. Incline Village is a transient, snow-bird community, so this is exciting. 12:33, people are moving into their different corners of the room. If you don't know, a candidate must have 15% of the room to be "viable" in the second round.

12:45. This cute little laptop is attracting a lot more attention than I expected or wanted. It's like bringing a puppy to the caucuses, I feel like a salesman.

First Round. Hillary - 33; Barack - 59. Neither Edwards nor Kucinich are viable! A couple of people are making twenty second speeches to convince the non-viable corners. Looks like they're splitting up pretty evenly.

1:00. Second Round. Barack Obama - 65; Hillary Clinton - 38; Uncommitted - 1. My mother (an emeritus maths professor) went up to make sure they did the math right - three delegates to Obama, two to Hillary. Now they're calling in the results on speaker phone. "You have to figure out amongst yourselves who gets to be your delegates."

1:10. My mother is complaining that the Obama people are sending "only white men" as delegates. But, there's really only white people here (not much diversity up in the lake-view Tahoe houses). People are trying to leave, but Donna is yelling "you're not released!"

1:15. A few resolutions are handed in. "If there is no further business, this caucus is now adjourned." Let's go get lunch.

January 18, 2008

New Videos on Youtube: Barack Obama Caucus Carol & John Lennon's Across the Universe

I'm at home near Lake Tahoe to observe the Nevadan caucus. I just went to tea with some of my Mom's Hillary friends, & I showed them this video. (Again, you can download an mp3 here.)



And today, we would also like to present John Lennon's classic song of inner-peace on my Blue Mountain Fluke Ukulele, in front of the Stars & Stripes. & yes, that's a Nevada Flag in my Sombrero. Go register to vote, & then, Vote! Hillary's not going to change your world.

January 17, 2008

The Ritual of Occasion

Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2008 16:27:06 -0800 (PST)
From:Send an Instant Message "Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden" <____@yahoo.com>
Subject: writing assignment #1
To:"James Eliot Quill" <______@gmail.com>, "James Henry Welsch" <_@itwaslost.org>

hello,

Today is the first day of our new project: Writing Assignments

The first Assignment is:
JQ - The Occassion of Ritual
JW - The Ritual of Occassion

250 words or more
due: 1/18/08

Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Mary Golden



____________________________________________


The Ritual of Occasion

I occasionally engage in the ritual of occasion,
Once I extended my Tahitian Vacation,
Sometimes off-the-cuff masturbation,
Dispel a rumor about a dead gay relation,
I fine-tune a perfect umbilical pun.

I knew this guy who refused the ritual of occasion,
A gadfly to the religion of eternal meteors,
He even smirked at the priests' scented rears,
And leered at the congress, & burnt the second-tiers,
Smearing our favorite bibles with a cyborg abrasion.

We know where he is now, smoldering far from the ritual of occasion,
Sometimes I take a red marker to the Times, & circle all the Caucasians,
I call my vampire friends, reverse-transubstantiate their wartime rations,
Splatter the Ketchupy results on the fire station's dalmations,
Write a letter to the editor & balance our two-way equation.

It's a ton of fun, I mean, the ritual of occasion.
The Kellogg's Corporation fell thru the ground of Battle Creek, Michigan,
If I grew my arms back, first thing if I could only fish again,
My mother wishes the dirty dishes wouldn't be malicious again.
But we are safe beneath the reef, tuna protect against a sweeping net invasion.

My younger sister is the Princess of the Ritual of Occasion.
She shagged her prom date in the meat pantry,
He looked a cross between Gene Autry & Nancy Sinatri,
They got drunk enough to fiscally free the peasantry,
Later lost in the occult, the world must learn to be patient.

I understand to my heart the ritual of occasion:
It's about necessity & umbrellas & underpants & chastity,
It's not about Republicans & Sea-lions & virginity & infinity,
Pretend you're a pirate hidden upon a sea of wasted realty.
And reality will help you occasionally once the ritual has begun.

Germans are everywhere throughout the ritual of occasion,
Bearded Germans, Sarcastic Germans, Plebeian Germans,
Germans who replace their eye daily with a super-hyman,
Germans who are still in mourning for Jane Wyman,
I have received amnesty in muslim France, sixty years of tax evasion.

Laughing loudly in the spirit of the ritual of occasion,
Did you hear the one about the old Jewish bachelor who married a leprechaun?
She tried to mow the carpet & hoover the lawn,
And so he says, "Come to bed, Maureen, it'll soon be dawn!"
An egg on display in a Roman home, a ritual observed by Emperor Trajan.

Too too rich the victual eaten at the end of the ritual of occasion,
Sometimes a denouement is in order, fading out, dusk of a nation,
Sometimes she demands necessarily a curb on the imagination,
Often the words form a prophecy less of a sentence more a grating persuasion,
Send a postcard to Aunt Wet-Fanny, the occasion has expired, & is done.

Movie Review: Juno (2008)

I may be a folklorist some day, so I need to practice the dispersion of conspiracy theories. I'm worried that Fox Searchlight Productions is putting out movies pretending to be low-budget ironic independent films, which are actually making buckets of money for Rupert Murdoch. It's the same as, for instance, something like Kashi TLC crackers, which pretends like it was made by Ma & Pa Organic Kashi - but it's actually produced by Kellogg's, & has a list of creepy industrialized ingredients to prove it. If you can buy fifty-packs at Costco, there's a good chance it's not a family business.

As for movies, it's fine if Fox wants to pre-package independent comedies, but if they're secretly doing it to counter the flow of independent comedies having left-wing messages... Jason Reitman also directed Thank You for Smoking, a schmarmy movie if ever one deserved that adjective, with a bit of a libertarian streak in its morality. Juno, however, is a lovely movie, with a lovely girl as it's title character, & I love Michael Cera. Jenny Ruth complained that the dialog was affected. But I think it's okay if dialog sounds like dialog - that's the way old Hollywood movies are (say, The Thin Man), where characters are always saying clever things; not to mention The Lord of the Rings, or Oscar Wilde, or Tom Stoppard.

As for the secret indoctrination, there is some subtle not-so-subtle anti-abortion stuff neatly packed in the cracks of this accessible hipster tragicomedy. I love when the pregnant sixteen-year-old Juno calls an organization called "Women First" & casually states "Hello, I'd like to procure a hasty abortion." It's a great joke, as are the reasons she opts to keep the baby, dead-panning that it already has fingernails. Jokes like this would be fine in themselves (taboo subjects like abortion will always be fodder for edgier humor), but I'm suspicious of right-wing companies trying to co-opt our lefty markets, like Tom's of Colgate, or organic Cheetoes, or trendy documentaries & "offbeat" comedy movies, tapping into those coveted hippie consumer dollars. Fox! Stick to what you do best, like trashing democratic politicians, & making money off the Simpsons.

January 15, 2008

warren ellis's 3 laws of robotics

warren ellis's 3 laws of robotics:

"1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us."

(for those of you not so familiar with comic books (quill excluded, of course), warren ellis is creator of transmet, as well as much else)
also, thanks to my buddy conor for bringing this to my awareness.I'm going to stop trying to seduce robots now. yeeehaw!

January 13, 2008

Vidoes: Live from the Green Party Presidential Debates

I attended the Green Party Presidential Debates yesterday, January 13th, 2008, at Herbst Theater in San Francisco. It was a colorful crowd, with a few hecklers. The five debating candidates, of course, spoke well & about relevant issues, which puts them far out of the mainstream. They all agree about Iraq, No Child Left Behind, climate change, single-payer health care, & second-choice voting (which would legitimize more parties.) One of the candidates, Jesse Johnson, of the Mountain Party of West Virginia, vaguely reminded me of George Clooney's character in O Brother Where Art Thou? I happened to catch one of the crazier moments on Jenny Ruth's camera, where, if you listen carefully, he attributes the rise of cancer & heart disease thru the 20th Century to the criminalization of marijuana.



Unfortunately, some of the videos didn't come out, including one of Kat Swift, an interesting young dread-lock'd woman from Texas. Dominating the debates was Cynthia McKinney, the first black congresswoman from Georgia, who served for five terms as a Democrat until they more or less disenfranchised her, & defected to the Green Party. Ralph Nader spoke afterward, & they'll probably give the nomination to him, but it's worth noting that she's bad ass & very presidential. Sorry my video of her is shaky:

January 09, 2008

Please Vote in the hot new Poll (on the lefthand sidebar)

And now, the second ever Itwaslost.org Poll, we ask you, the universe, for feedback on what content you would like to see more of on this weblog. The first poll, as you recall, which contained several dirty words, was a stentorian success, except that only a half dozen people voted, & as it turned out, it contained several dirty words.

What would you like to see MORE of, on this website www.itwaslost.org, in 2008, my noble readers? (You may click multiple answers.)

-Naked nude photos of celebrities xxx

-Orange Juice

-Nonsense Doggerel Rhyming Poetry

-Scathing Critical Reviews of Fine Music & Cinema

-James Eliot Quill's lovely writing & photographs

-Private details about the bloggers' lives

-Thinly-disguised Barack Obama endorsements

-Fun Facts

-Quotes from Tlön's Infinite Library

-More information about our friend with the world's longest nipple hair

-More Polls

-The interior of a human colon.

-Illuminated Prophecies


Also, Congratulations to Mrs Clinton on her victory last night. My (thinly-disguised) hope is that Obama fans (many in the younger demographic) will see the imperative to vote in the February Primaries, which a New Hampshire Obama victory could have hurt. Register to vote, friends! Then, Vote!

January 08, 2008

Doggerel about John Updike in the New York Times Book Review

This excellent doggerel poem was sent by J. Mudcat Miller from Catchogue, New York, & published in the letters to the editor in the Sunday, January 6th, 2008, Book Review.

To the Editor:

In re your review of John Updike’s “Due Considerations: Essays and Criticism” (Nov. 4):

There aren’t too many others like
our John, the writer, Up, yes, dike.
His brain, like his golf, is well above par,
and his work is, well, it’s wunderbar.

But how I wish, to my chagrin,
that he could, just for once, begin
a sentence and, without a bend,
continue straight until the end.

When I read his books I find
it’s like a Christmas of the mind,
and he is Santa, bringing pauses,
father of dependent clauses.


It's great to see doggerel in newspapers - very 19th Century, let's bring that back!