Showing posts with label J. D. Salinger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label J. D. Salinger. Show all posts

June 09, 2009

Quotes: Grindelwald's White Handkerchief

Pretty images from The New Yorker, which, sadly, has expired coming thru my mailslot. I was thinking I'd wait till the end of summer to renew it.

I slowly realized that several of the actors in HBO's Big Love have arty roots - Harry Dean Stanton (the creepy old compound leader with a new adolescent wife) & Grace Zabrinskie (Bill's mother) are David Lynch regulars (she's Laura Palmer's mother!!!). And Chloe Sevigny is from Dogville, Kids, Broken Flowers &c.

This The Onion article about J. D. Salinger coming out of hiding to rave about the new Terminator movie is hit or miss, but this paragraph is gold:

Besides setting the literary community abuzz, Salinger's decision to come out of seclusion has allowed scholars access to his massive archive of unpublished work for the first time. So far, critics have examined three never-before-seen novels, eight novellas, and more than two dozen short stories—all of which appear to be Terminator fan fiction.

"But make no mistake," said Salinger expert Professor Duane Hartworth of nearby Dartmouth College, "this is without a doubt the most personal and affecting body of Terminator fan fiction ever discovered."

Our neighbor Miss Enid Darius has been up to her ears in Harry Potter, & I was looking up some classic articles for her. There's a lame one in the New York Times from 2007 about Professor Dumbledore's homosexuality, but it brings out an extremely subtle inuendo in the seventh book:

She proposes that when the two friends had a falling out in a dramatic duel, Grindelwald did not fight but “conjured a white handkerchief from the end of his wand and” — the passage then gives way to an obvious (in retrospect) sexual double entendre.

February 10, 2009

The Facebooks Note: "It's Time for My Obligatory 25 Things Note"

Quizzes & surveys go around these networking sites, & are generally to be avoided, but then this one started, which yielded such good results from many of my "friends" & friends-of-friends. I had to contribute, altho as you notice, several of my "random things" are just sneaky advertisements for this blog or other projects. I waited a few days to post this here, so I could put the few comments too, & add links.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

25 Things

I. I've really been enjoying everyone's 25 Things essays, I don't know how this virus started, but it's really been quite revelatory. I hope mine isn't already yesterday's news.

II. I've often contemplated how difficult it would be to completely exterminate one of those overplayed radio songs, take for instance Aretha Franklin's "Respect". Even if you designed some super virus which deleted every digital copy, combined with a massively successful "CD burning" propaganda religiosity, it would still be owned by millions of people on tapes, records, CDs, hiding under people's commodes, &c. "Respect" is here to stay.

III. Move over Black History Month! It's February: Month of the Mustache!

IV. What's with people who don't eat the crutons in their salads? (Right, for the rest of this note I'll try to avoid Jerry Seinfeld observations.)

V. What have you all been up to? What's everyone's latest project? Who has a boring job? Who's pregnant?

VI. I've been single for a long time now - - - watch out, ladies!

VII. 2009 is a year of new things: I've already written a hip-hop album; spent an afternoon in Volcano, California; I went to a burlesque show; I'm co-writing a Text Message Novel; & I plan to go to Eastern Europe this summer (weather permitting). We have a new president & everything still feels soft-focus about that. Bush is already not one of the top fifty searched items at the NY times (he was always #1 until 2007)

VIII. The Virtual Thesaurus on Text Messaging suggests "ISRN2U" to abbreviate "I'm standing right next to you!"

IX. I arranged Richard Fariña's song "Children of Darkness" into four-part harmony, & every time I listen to my old yamaha synthesizer pound out the playback, it breaks my heart.

X. I've been photographed standing next to Hillary Clinton with all the other "service help."

XI. I realize a lot of people of our generation are still uneasy about the so-called "blogosphere". However, I & four other Sarah Lawrence graduates post a lot of original writing, music, art & pornographic photography to www.itwaslost.org, I feel we put out a pretty good product & I recommend visiting early & often, leave us a comment!

XII. It bothers me when people advertise their website in their "25 things" essay.

XIII. In Peter Zillman's "25 random things" essay, the word "freight" was two of them, after which he commented "what are the chances of that?"

XIV. I was banned from the light rail in Portland for not paying my fare. Another thing that happened on the light rail on Portland, was that a man danced around me ululating "Leonardo! Leonardo! It's Leonardo! Can I have your autograph!" Irritatingly, people often point out to me that I look like Mr DiCaprio, ever since I was 16, however, ironically, since I shaved, it hasn't happened once.

XV. My 'Address to the Lassies' at Robert Burns Night 2009 (at Lake Tahoe this year) ended with the line "Why don't you lose some weight?"

XVI. J.D. Salinger turned ninety on January 1st, 2009, still in hiding in Cornish, New Hampshire, & lately I've been getting the sinking feeling that he's been burning everything he's been writing in the last forty-five years. Still, I want to believe.

XVII. I'm swearing less, but I'm beginning to talk more & more like Donald Rumsfeld. Heavens!

XVIII. I once wrote a poem with the lines "James has eaten elephant slugs & slumber slugs / And wallaroo slugs & cucumber slugs."

XIX. It's become a fairly common sight to see a hipster walking down the street with a ukulele, usually not very good at it, often also with a mustache, sometimes just strumming open chords for no reason! It's like a prop! I hate to gripe about being ahead of the trend, but now I feel like just another hipster ukulelist, even tho I've been playing since I was a kid. Now I'm a clean-shaved rap star (& during February Mustache Month too...)

XX. I'm going to have a glass of scotch left over from Burns Night & write the remaining items so I can post it already.

XXI. Liam just now posted "A Collection of Hindu Mustaches" to our website, & it's just breathtaking.

XXII. I've spent the night in all fifty states, every Canadian province, ridden Amtrak from New York to California or California to New York about a dozen times (it takes four days) - - - and so now when I have an extra-large Nevada flag hanging on the whole wall above my futon, I can tell you with some assurance that Nevada is the most beautiful place in this nation. Also, my father bought me some beer from the Great Basin Brewery out of Sparks, Nevada, & it's fucking good! Finally a local beer to live up to our glorious state.

XXIII. I've been writing a West Coast hymnal, which I hope to publish with illuminations sometime before 2050.

XXIV. I've been living with my friend Jenny Ruth for several years now, & together we've battled rats, ants, mold, fleas, dirty dishes & ennui. What challenges will 2009 lay before us?

XXV. My lost years are over?
I realize now mine is significantly longer than others, & quite a bit more self-promotional. I intend to re-read thru many others, as I said many were wise & witty, & collect a 'best of' - - check back! Now: Here's the comments from the facebooks for this note:
Jamie B____ at 6:44pm February 3
James, I adore you. I also miss you. Your wit and intelligence astound and humor me. Play on. James.

Annalee F____ at 8:26pm February 3
V. I have a relatively boring job, and, according to you yourself, am apparently pregnant.

Sorry I didn't get a chance to see you. Was in the bay area for less than a day, all in all.

Mr Quill at 11:05pm February 3
Why did you snub our Cornell Grad Student contributor? He gives us class.

James W___ at 10:35am February 4
I've never snubbed Southworth People! That was a strange point to pick up on. Annalee, I will see you in my dreams. Jamie, I miss you too, what have you been up to?

Jessica B___ at 12:16pm February 4
XIX. I once saw a fellow riding a unicycle down Hawthorne St. in Portland with bagpipes slung across his back. I wondered if he ever plays and rides at the same time. I also wondered if he was the official poster child of our city's unofficial motto: Keep Portland Weird.

III. There are only 107 days left until the World Beard and Moustache Championships. Do you have your ticket to Anchorage yet? http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/index.html.

Peter Z____ at 1:44pm February 4
XXVI. freight

James W___ at 1:48pm February 4
Wow, may be there are no coincidences in the world...

Mr Tomas at 12:51pm February 6
Was it me you were talking to on Burn's Night? Everyone else there is certainly skinnier. I vomited scotch three times in the following 12 hours.

James W___ at 3:20pm February 6
It was a joke I stole from The Onion, & it was addressed to lassies in general--, altho I think bolemia just might be the cure for most of your problems, Matty. I felt bad about that speech for days afterward, & the brits had to assure me that it was nothing out of the ordinary for Burns night roasts.

April 15, 2007

Mid April Apologia

Ah! Iakov, April is the cutest month, & I just heard Ute Lemper sing a Tom Waits lyric: "The orchestra is blind, but I've never been the worrying kind." She was also singing something like:

But all of your letters burned up in the fire
And the time is just memory mixed with desire
That's not the road, it's only the map, I say
Gone just like matches from a closed down cabaret.

Meanwhile, today, I've been scribing some very important epistles to Alabama about my May Journeyings. I would love to publish those here, but I'll wait until I can fully chronicle my adventures (singing 19th century folk choir music in Primitive Baptist Churches in Alabama, the only state of the union I've never been to.) Do I want to log my life in a blog, but I feel that I'm instinctually obscure. Does anyone enjoy reading my e-mails? Perhaps the United States Congress? First thing this morning, I posted a note to James Eliot Quill detailing my ongoings last week:

Dear James,

I just got your mumbled phone message. Yes, yes.

Virtue says her plant store has some coca plants in the grow room. I'm waiting to hear when they're ready for purchase. Maybe we could start a tea farm.

Things I've done in the past week:

-Won fifty dollars at the horse races (Jenny's 11-year-old niece picked all my winning horses just by looking at them.) -Saw a Neil Diamond Cover Band
-Communicated with almost two hundred beefy guys thru a fake personal on Craigslist under the persona of an alcoholic ex-Mormon dumb-blond-girl construction worker.
-Rescued a starfish from being thrown like a frisbee by a jerk asshole at the tide-pools.
-Danced with Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden to a ten-piece brass band.
-Wrote a poem in terza rima
-Drank a martini at a hipster bar.
-Worked forty hours at a slow bookstore.

But I'm not boasting of my activities.

I recommended trying to be in Cornish, New Hampshire, for J.D. Salinger's Ninetieth Birthday, January 1st 2009, before we hit Scotland for Burns Day; but Elle Czaog (LJOWG) said it's too cliche & Salinger doesn't want to be bothered. I suggested we don't bother him or try to find him, but just go to a pub there & toast him. Opinions?

Peace,
James


A few comments about some of that:

The fake Craigslist Posting, that ended up being one of my meanest tricks ever, & I'll report about it in detail, hopefully posting some of my letters written in character, once a bit of the guilt subsides.

As for the Coca Plant, I have not researched if these are legal, or if making a tea from the leaves is legal in this country. For the record, I do not enjoy cocaine, nor is the creation of this weblog enhanced by any controlled stimulants. Since this is a public space, viewable by all my potential future employers or professors, I must mention
also that I do not regularly bet on the horses nor facilitate underage gambling. I abhor such behavior. It is sad that the historic Bay Meadows race track will be closing for good this fall. I encourage you to go one last time!

April 02, 2007

Short Spring Short Reading List



It's spring & finals are approaching for the busier human beings. I'm daydreaming about a singing trip to Alabama in May. Who has time to read a novel? Did you know that less then 50% of Americans will read a novel this year? I blame it on Sanjaya Malakar. While Sam Amidon was working on his list of top ten movies for 2007, I was compiling a short list of short excerpts in American Literature, manageable-sized chunks to read on the grass when you're pretending to be studying but actually looking at dancing hippies (see picture). Most of this list is lesser-read stuff by great dead-white-male American tragicomedians.



A) Herman Melville - Israel Potter: His Fifty Years of Exile, Chapters 8 thru 12.
Accidental covert American agent Israel Potter is sent on a secret mission to give Dr. Ben Franklin a message in Paris during the Revolutionary War. Melville portrays Franklin as a nearsighted know-it-all & the adventurer Paul Jones as a bastard.

B) Thomas Pynchon - Mason & Dixon, Chapters 27 & 28.
Read this after Melville's portrait of Franklin. Charles Mason & Jeremiah Dixon go womanizing with Franklin in Philadelphia, & come away with an impression that the famous inventor is "unfocused." I've annotated these chapters for Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden, & I'll publish my notes here soon. In Chapter 28, Mason & Dixon go to Col. George Washington's plantation, & meet his despondent Jewish slave Gershom.

C) Mark Twain - Roughing It, Chapters 12 thru 17.
Nothing is funnier than Twain's send-up of Salt Lake City, reflections of when he pass'd thru it in the early days of Western Expansion. An entire chapter is devoted to slamming the Mormon Bible.

D) J.D. Salinger - "Teddy" from Nine Stories.
A beautiful classic. Salinger turns ninety on January 1st, 2009, nineteen days before Bush leaves office & twenty-four days before Robert Burns's 250th. (The title for Jerome David's only published novel is from a Burns song.) I was trying to figure out how to send him a telegram in Cornish, New Hampshire, but apparently the wires are down. "Teddy", about a ten-year-old genius, is good to read next to:

E) Jonathan Safran Foer - Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.
I love this book, & it's a pretty fast read. Nine-year-old Oskar Schell decides to track down everyone in the New York Phone book with the last name Black, determined it should prove that his dead father loved him. (It's shorter if you skip the letters from his Grandparents, but go back & read them this summer.)

F) Dashiell Hammett - The Thin Man.
Another fast read, Hammett's classic post-noir mystery written at the beginning of the noir craze. The wit of the husband-&-wife detectives has not dulled over the years (as opposed to anything Chandler wrote). The old movie is also amazing. "You look like I need a a drink!"

September 17, 2006

Cartoon Review: Doonesbury strips, first week of September 2006

(click on the strip if it's too small to read)




The series of Doonesbury strips from Monday, September 4th thru Saturday, September 9th offer a nice commentary on Twenty-First Century battle. Ray, a soldier stationed in Iraq, is stressed that he is late to spend the night on the computer with his wife at home, May. She gives him matronly hell, as if he was just home late from the bar (“You think I like throwing up?”), but of course with added gravitas because his absence could have meant so much worse. As the strips progress, he is caught up in domestic dramas, which are distractions from or as demanding as warfare (“No, clockwise, idiot! You'll break the damn lint filter!”)


It's an unusual approach to discussing Iraq, in our country torn by opinions & false dichotomies. Trudeau can wrap up so many ideas in a format which has to be four frames long, some sort of punchline in the fourth, & dispensed in the slowest serialization any national epic has ever seen. (I was obsessed in college about the issue of America's “National Epic”... In a country with so much great literature, what was our Imperial Equivalent to Homer? How do Salinger or Twain, bards with an American voice, fit into a democratic materialistic American epic mold? A national epic has to be written sometime around the origin of the empire, contain integrated discussions of all the artistic & political issues the empire will face, be written in a poetry to equal no other, & yet be above itself with an aware irony. After college, of course, I read Moby Dick, & that settled the matter. But then what of Doonesbury? Can the American epic really be in novel form, when we would sing to the muses mostly in multimedia? Doonesbury chronicles America during the crucial era, commenting in depth & subtlety on American culture & politics in short daily installments from the sixties thru today, with dozens & dozens of main characters who have grown & continue to evolve. It could also be argued that the past forty years have shaped our empire more than the mid-1800s did... I could conclude that if Melville is our Virgil, than Trudeau is our Ovid.)



Doonesbury, with its “liberal bias”, manages to entertain & touch most Americans with the employment of several central techniques. First, its famous “love of the soldier / hate the war” attitude. Second, is it's remorseless critique of any politician, not just the Bushes. How followers in all demographics of America interpreted the first week of September's comics reveals the complexity of his vision. Larry Beasley from Milwaukee wrote to Trudeau:


Ray's email strips point something out (at least to me). It seems we as a nation are not taking this war seriously. I'm not old enough to remember the WW II rationing system or the mandatory recycling, and the draft ended during my last year in high school. Shame on me for not getting more involved. Considering the hardships soldiering brings with it (some of our troops have to pay for their own armor -- shouldn't it be standard issue for all combat/hazardous duty personnel?), shame on us all. Whatever victory may still be achieved, it will require more than cheerleading and empty expressions of support. God save the Republic.


He interpreted May's attitude as a stark contrast to how we idealize World War Two's civilian dedication & sacrifice. A woman from Temecula, CA, Stacy Swenck, meditated on the historical implications of e-mail versus letters:


Last week's series of strips has caught my attention like no other. I lost my dad, Robert Swenck, to Vietnam in 1971. I was only twelve when my dad died, and a few years ago I finally read the letters (about 100) he sent to my mom before he was killed. I only got to know my dad through those letters since my mom rarely mentioned him after he was killed. I worry that the families of today's soldiers are communicating through ephemeral means, and that there will not be letters left over for the kids to read when they grow up.


And a mother from Tuscan, AZ, Heather Deaver, compared it to her own paranoid experience, which of course can be viewed in contrast to pre-internet wars:


I just wanted to thank you for the recent strip on soldiers emailing from Iraq. My son is a 23-year-old Lance Corporal in the Marine Reserves. He began his first tour last week, when your strip was running. I had to laugh because I was also freaking out if I didn't get an email every day. My son very patiently explained that there are only so many computers, they have to sign up to use them, and they only get 20 minutes and he has a lot of email! Thanks for making me feel not so silly.


Alternately, it contains various thoughts on marital relations, which span peacetime, wartime, & whatever sort of high-tech conflict we're in now. Comic strip authors of the stupid variety often gear their strips to hit a simple chord, like “ha ha, my husband always has the same shit luck when he golfs, too – I'll cut this out & put it on my fridge.” There's really no comparison to what Gary Trudeau is doing.