Welcome Obama Babies! goodby Orly Taitz (attorney, dentist, real estate agent)

If you recall, there's always a peak in baby births nine months after a major city power outage. November 4th, there was a similar romance in the air, look how often I got kissed on Valencia Street in San Francisco:



So people were predicting a surge in babies nine months later - which is TODAY! And the amazing thing - today is of course also President Obama's birthday. And just to make everything come full circle, Obama was born on August Fourth, 1961, which means he was born exactly nine months after John F. Kennedy's election victory. (We wrote more about the Kennedy-Obama coincidences in this post: Su Diarrea Diaria). Welcome Obama babies! & into the world, very likely, the woman or man who'll be elected President in 2056.

The bizarre birther Orly Taitz has gotten herself back onto the news networks with a forged Obama Kenyan birth certificate. The birther movement is appropriately reaching its climax on Barack Obama's birthday. People are complaining this woman is getting so much face time on cable, but come on! she's truly terrific. For the sake of our international AUDIENCE what hasn't been following this, here's a recap from Jon Stewart:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Born Identity
www.thedailyshow.com

And here's her freak-out on MSNBC yesterday, where she calls the mainstream media "brownshirts". And why was she live from Tel Aviv?

Art: The Muse Monica Lewinsky

The artist Annie Kevan painted an oil-on-paper series of All the Presidents' Girlfriends, about ninety percent of which were from John F Kennedy. Only a tiny number of them dated the bearded presidents (Garfield's Lucia Gilbert Calhoun), which I chalk up to the higher morality of the bearded presidents as well as their discretion. Ariston Anderson writes: "At first glance, the collection of portraits FAS Contemporary's Volta booth appears to be a wall of extremely beautiful women throughout the ages, each one quickly created in delicate strokes of oil paint. But then Monica Lewinsky's face pops out at you and is that Paula Jones?" It also contains William Rufus DeVane King, the sexy congressman James Buchanan (America's only bachelor president) lived with after the white house, Washington & Jefferson's black girlfriends, & a surprising number of beauties from Dwight Eisenhower.

I'm fascinated by Monica Lewinsky as a muse, I use to have this glossy photo of her taped up in my parents' camper, which usually took people awhile to recognize. I can't find this photo anywhere on the web! It was a photo-shopped photo shoot from some magazine like Vanity Fair or even Cosmo, I think she's posing with a pink umbrella & a poodle, or something like that. It's an amazing shot. Send it to me if you can find it!

Brooklyn Bridge Attack Ad: "BUT IS IT LONG ENOUGH??"

D.B. Steinem says his Brooklyn Bridge is the "fulfillment of an artists dream."

But do the facts check out!!??

At fifty-nine hundred feet long, the so-called BROOKLYN bridge stretches almost five thousand feet shorter than the beautiful NEW TAY RAIL BRIDGE in Dundee.

Is that long enough for America?

At 10,710 feet, the New Tay Bridge is the longest railway bridge of the present day.

William Topaz McGonagall wrote that the beautiful New Tay Bridge is "strong enough all windy storms to defy".

Can we even trust the Brooklyn Bridge to stand up to the wimpiest little gale?
Can America risk finding out?

Doing the most basic investigation on the Brooklyn Bridge on the WIKIPEDIA, we learned that suspension bridge-making pioneer John A. Roebling, whilst surveying for the Brooklyn Bridge, got his foot "badly injured by a ferry, pinning it against a pylon; within a few weeks, he died of tetanus." What's the matter, John A. Roebling, jaw too LOCKED UP to complete the Brooklyn Bridge? Succeeding him, his son Washington Roebling, came down with a little case of THE BENDS. Does this sound like confident leadership to you, or does it sound like typical New York politics, typical Kennedyesque nepotism? LOCKJAW? DECOMPRESSION SICKNESS? That doesn't sound like competent bridgebuilding, that sounds like DEAD bridgebuilding.

"Besides," says William Topaz McGonagall, "the railway carriages [on the beautiful NEW TAY BRIDGE] are pulled across by a rope, / Therefore Brooklyn Bridge cannot with thee cope."

...is it long enough?...
...wimpiest little gale...
...typical Kennedyesque nepotism...

Sorry, D.B. Steinem, the fulfillment of the artist's dream was built in Dundee in 1883.

Vote NEW TAY BRIDGE in 2009.
Strong enough for Dundee.
Strong enough for America.

Live-Blogging the Obama Parade?

Few words come to mind - Michelle in Mustard! Bush departing by helicopter, Kennedy collapsing, Dr. Strangelove in his wheelchair & cane, departing to his secret puppet theater with Kissinger to pretend they still have hidden control over the world.

The Mimosas Witnesses met in South Berkeley at a co-op with a big tv to celebrate the new presidency with some impassioned transubstantiation, at like 8am. Our midwife friend Julia had cancelled all deliveries & cooked some awesome wholesome rye Freedom Toast. Now, with a new world, are we attemepting to watch cnn livefeed & liveblog the Parade! We are here.

I'll start off the live-blog with last hour's chat:

11:48 AM Olaf has joined

James Quill has joined

me: Sorry I frozw

e

e

e

e

Olaf: or here

me: I was saying,

Olaf: so, what did those ladies say?

James Quill: yeah!

me: Those black ladies were like "HOPE & CHANGE, &, uh, uh, what else was he talking about, there was one other thing? Uh... CONFUSION!"

11:49 AM Olaf: really?

me: That's what she said.

His themes of HOPE & CHANGE & CONFUSION

Olaf: that is the part i always forget as well

me: His speech was a little poetic at times

11:50 AM Feinstein was the MC

11:51 AM Olaf: Alice Walker said she "Looked different" (feinstein) is this true?

me: Michelle was wearing mustard gold diamonds

Olaf: i listened on radio

me: Alice Walker was on the radio? SLC represent

11:53 AM Olaf: word. with Amy goodman on democracy now. you should listen. there is some very nice silence between those two.

11:54 AM an ideal viewing audience. Amy goodman, alice walker, myself. i almost asked them to pass the buttered toast.

how about Aretha?

damn!

still got it!

11:55 AM me: You & your girls

Aretha, everyone at the co-op I was at was mocking her hat a lot, I said she can wear what she wants

Olaf: right on, james. you tell those fools

11:56 AM James Quill: tell 'em tell 'em

12:58pm Western Time Shit! The parade was over at the other video feed. It's already started! There's a lot of three-corner hats & fifes marching right now.


He's getting out of the armored car! he's crazy!
that is a very strange color choice Michelle made, I must say. I hope she doesn't have a mustard yellow ballgown for the inaugural balls.

Save yourself! I moved to a fancier newer post above: here.

The Inaugural Address: It will be better than Harrison's & worse than Lincoln's

Look, it's a countdown clock. Today is Bush's last day. There is really a lot being written everywhere about all the inaugural address. There's a great article in the New Yorker here, by Jill Lapore, which follows the art of writing the address thru James Garfield's re-reading of his predecessors, procrastinating, & writing about it in his diary for posterity. (Garfield is pictured to the right in a sexy hat.) And there's an extremely useful interactive feature at the New York Times here. It shows what words were most used for each of the addresses, which is a good way to skim them all for content. William Henry Harrison is always mentioned when inaugural addresses are discussed, because he had the longest speech, & he is our briefest reigning president, not unrelatedly: it was standing out in the cold to ramble on for two hours, that he contracted pneumonia & died. Harrison's most used word was "power." (Creepily, "power" is high on the list for Kennedy & Garfield, who also died in office. Obama, please avoid that word.) The word "America" is only popular with Harding, Nixon, Clinton & Bush.

Su Diarrea Diaria

Miss Proinseas, this was pointed out by a blogger named E.A. Hanks over at the Huffington Post. Just as, after a major blackout in New York City, the hospitals are packed with babies exactly nine months later, to the day, so too should we expect a lot of babies exactly nine months after the amazing night America experienced after Obama's victory. I admit to a strong desire to impregnate some of the beautiful Obama revelers at San Francisco's street party at Valencia & 19th. I'm not so sure I didn't, as the photos from the evening show my face covered in lipstick kisses (see above), & there is even one video that shows me being kissed by a stranger, who I then let sip from my champagne (see below). I have very few memories from then on.

The amazing part - in sync with a lot of the Lincoln-Kennedy coincidences & the weird curses & repetitions in American Presidential lore - is that 9 months after Obama's victory is August 4th, Barack Hussein Obama II's birthday. If you see where I'm going with this, he was born on August 4th, 1961, exactly nine months after Kennedy's election. I'm sure Sarah Vowell would love this. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And no! if that's what you're thinking, I'm in no way suggesting that Obama is destined to be assassinated! He can't be, he wasn't elected on a year ending in zero! (It is my belief that Reagan broke that curse by escaping an assassination attempt, & then was gradually plagued with the foreshadowings of Alzheimer's; twenty years later, Bush would carry on the tradition of brain-dead presidents, a clever update on Tecumseh's Curse.) But there is a curious Lincoln-Kennedy-Obama Axis of Imagination & Gravity, as also evinced by the similarities in Lincoln & Obama's biographies. (Great article on that from the Fredericksburg Freelance-Star here.) Former California Republican Congressman Tom Campbell, whom I heard speak at U.C. Berkeley's International House last night, also pointed out that Kennedy had close political ties to a Chicago Mayor named Richard Daley, & now Obama has close political ties with a Chicago Mayor named Richard Daley. "Some things never change," said Campbell.

You might also want to peruse next August's Obama Babies for 2052's unlikely President.

the Kennedy endorsement shirt, part 2.

well, I did make the screen, and one with a bit of yackety-shmakety (see at left). I am mainly absorbed in screenprinting prints of it on heavy watercolor paper (they look purty. I don't think even the coldest republican or Hillary supporter can rip up a nice clean print on good paper) to distribute throughout new york city, yee haw! and have concluded that I have neither the time nor the energy nor the money to print shirts etc. at the moment. with that said, if anybody is into the graphic, I have set up a cafepress store that has a cornucopia of Obama stuff with this graphic. including packs of 20 postcards and notecards, which struck me as good things to leave in the neighbors mailboxes at night, send to random addresses, etcetera.hmmm. Cafepress also delivers really fast (pre-super tuesday for example), which I am not always guaranteed to do.
cafepress link is: http://www.cafepress.com/glasshorse

the aforementioned yackety shmakety is on the backs of some shirts and inside some notecards.

not an advertisement! just an FYI.

the Kennedy endorsement shirt

First Obama shirt to hit the presses- the Kennedy endorsement shirt! manipulate all those now older more conservative people who voted for JFK, but now think they should probably vote for Hillary, into associating Barack with Jack!...coming on the heels of Caroline Kennedy's op-ed "a president like my father" in the NYTimes, in which she endorses Obama, as well as Ted Kennedy's soon-to-be-announced Obama endorsement. any takers? and suggestions for shit to write on the back or whatever? I'm currently leaning towards just the graphic.

UPDATE: Thanks, Chrisasian, you actually can buy this shirt, here:
http://www.cafepress.com/glasshorse