Names in the News

From the Daily Telegraph (24 July 2008):

The parents of a New Zealand girl named Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii have been ordered to change her name because it risks making her the target of abuse and ridicule.

A lawyer acting for the girl claimed she was so embarrassed by her name that she had kept it from her friends, insisting she should be known as "K" instead. She also feared that if it became public she would be mocked and teased.

The lawyer claimed the girl fully understood the absurdity of her name, unlike her parents who had not considered the implications when they named her.

Justice Robert Murfitt said the name clearly presented a social hurdle for the child.

"It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap," he said.

He also voiced concern over other names given to New Zealand children, such as Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter.

A set of twins was named Benson and Hedges, after the cigarette brand and some children had been named after six-cylinder Ford cars. There has ever been a case of a child being named after the entire All Blacks side.

"Recently, for the first time in my experience as a Family Court judge, the name of a child described in text language has emerged," Mr Murfitt said.

In that case, a girl was named O.crnia, but in negotiations with the mother over a parenting order, the name was adjusted to Oceania.

New Zealand officials said they did have the power to block outlandish names.

Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages, told the New Zealand Herald that the law did not allow names that would cause offence to a reasonable person, that are more than 100 characters or that include titles, military ranks, punctuation or numerals.

Names rejected by the office include Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit. [...]

And this is the transcript of an Arkansan trial from 2004, Shepard v. Speir, where the unmarried parents were in litigation over the name. I'll cast James Mason as "The Court" & Rockets Redglare as Mr Sheppard.

The Court: I simply do not understand why you named this child — his legal name is Weather'by Dot Com Chanel Fourcast Sheppard. Now, before you answer that, Mr. — the plaintiff in this action is a weatherman for a local television station.

Sheppard: Yes.

The Court: Okay. Is that why you named this child the name that you gave the child?

Sheppard: It — it stems from a lot of things.

The Court: Okay. Tell me what they are.

Sheppard: Weather'by — I've always heard of Weatherby as a last name and never a first name, so I thought Weatherby would be — and I'm sure you could spell it b-e-e or b-e-a or b-y. Anyway, Weatherby.

The Court: Where did you get the "Dot Com"?

Sheppard: Well, when I worked at NBC, I worked on a Teleprompter computer.

The Court: All right.

Sheppard: All right, and so that's where the Dot Com [came from]. I just thought it was kind of cute, Dot Com, and then instead of — I really didn't have a whole lot of names because I had nothing to work with. I don't know family names. I don't know any names of the Speir family, and I really had nothing to work with, and I thought "Chanel"? No, that's stupid, and I thought "Shanel," I've heard of a black little girl named Shanel.

The Court: Well, where did you get "Fourcast"?

Sheppard: Fourcast? Instead of F-o-r-e, like your future forecast or your weather forecast, F-o-u, as in my fourth son, my fourth child, Fourcast. It was --

The Court: So his name is Fourcast, F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t?

Sheppard: Yes....

The Court: All right. Now, do you have some objection to him being renamed Samuel Charles?

Sheppard: Yes.

The Court: Why? You think it's better for his name to be Weather'by Dot Com Chanel ... Fourcast, spelled F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t? And in response to that question, I want you to think about what he's going to be — what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out — this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay? So I just want — if your answer to that is yes, you think his name is better today than it would be with Samuel Charles, as his father would like to name him and why. Go ahead.

Sheppard: Yes, I think it's better this way.

The Court: The way he is now?

Sheppard: Yes. He doesn't have to use "Dot Com." I mean, as a grown man, he can use whatever he wants.

The Court: As a grown man, what is his middle name? Dot Com Chanel Fourcast?

Sheppard: He can use Chanel, he can use the letter "C." [...]