List of Real Names

I was inspired by Gail Collins in the New York Times real-namedropping in her recent editorial:

...Perhaps if we talk about it long enough I will get a chance to point out once again that Representative Connie Mack of Florida, who surprised everyone by announcing Friday that he would not run for Senator Bill Nelson’s seat in 2012, is actually named Cornelius Harvey McGillicuddy IV.

And then, today, we watched Eddie Izzard's classic "Engelbert Humperdinck" sketch in Dress to Kill, where he dwells at length on Gerry Dorsey's name change. So, I will now compile a growing list of REAL NAMES of actors, celebrities, politicians, and anyone else who has an interesting real name. (Please leave suggestions in the comments.) I'm generally leaving out people with stage names, pen names or rap names whose real names aren't especially interesting or hilarious (like Samuel Clemens or Robert Zimmerman), and leaning more towards people whose birth names could be career killers, or are just vaguely entertaining to learn.

Tom Cruise - Thomas Mapother IV
Ben Kingsley - Krishna Bhanji
Muhammad Ali - Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr.
Woody Allen - Allan Konigsberg
Snoop Dogg - Cordozer Calvin Broadus
Jon Stewart - Jonathan Stuart Liebowitz
Kirk Douglas - Issur Danielovitch
Lauren Bacall - Betty Joan Perske
Billy Holiday - Eleanora Fagan
Jodie Foster - Alicia Christian Foster
Gene Simmons - Chaim Witz
Judy Garland - Frances Ethel Gumm
John Wayne - Marion Morrison
Mel Brooks - Melvyn Kaminsky
Albert Brooks (actor) - Albert Einstein
Martin Sheen - Ramon Estevez
Kiefer Sutherland - William Frederick Dempsey George Sutherland
Sting - Gordon Sumner
Charlie Sheen - Carlos Estevez
Pat Benatar - Patricia Andrzejewski
Larry King - Lawrence Zieger
George Orwell - Eric Blair
Cary Grant - Archibald Leach
Winona Ryder - Winona Horowitz
Alan Alda - Alphonso D'Abruzzo
Engelbert Humperdinck - Arnold George “Gerry” Dorsey
Gov. Bobby Jindal - Piyush Amrit Jindal
Elvis Costello - Declan Patrick MacManus
Demi Moore - Demetria Guynes
Bob Hope - Leslie Townes Hope
Bono - Paul David Hewson
Lady Gaga - Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
Michael Caine - Maurice Micklewhit­e
Miley Cyrus - Destiny Hope Cyrus
Anne Bancroft - Anne Italiano
Whoopi Goldberg - Caryn Johnson
Vanilla Ice - Robert Van Winkle
George Sand - Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin
Baron Corvo - Frederick William Serafino Austin Lewis Mary Rolfe
Mitt Romney - Willard Mitt (Milton?) Romney
Buster Posey (Giants catcher) - Gerald Dempsey Posey III
Pelé (Soccer player) - Edison Arantes do Nascimento
Fatboy Slim - Norman Cook
Al Pacino - Alfredo Pacino
Marquis de Sade - Donatien Alphonse Francois Sade
Jack Palance - Volodymir Ivanovich Palahnuik
"Baby Face" Nelson (Gangster) - Lester M. Gillis
Chuck D - Carlton Ridenhour
Nero (Emperor) - Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus / Nero Claudius Drusus Germanicus
Pablo Neruda - Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto
Erykah Badu - Erica Wright
Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo & Gummo Marx - Julius Henry Marx, Leonard Marx, Arthur Adolph Marx, Herbert Manfred Marx & Milton Marx.
Reince Priebus - Reinhold R. Priebus

New Ukulele!

Exciting news for The Manna Tease. Miss M.M.M.'s new ukulele, bought & paid for by giving Twennydollah haircuts, has arrived. It's a denim electric Flea Ukulele from Flea Market Music.

Jesus Christ is a big fat man - The Manna Tease Special Single B-Side

And, as a B-Side to "It's a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World," here's a spicy new homemade studio demo of "Jesus Christ is a big fat man." My mother pointed out that Jesus Christ was a skinny man, but I say, teach the controversy.

This recording includes the fourth verse that Minnie Mary Molly wrote, "Jesus Christ had his own cooking show, &c..." Here we go:

Yes, this song is also available FOR SALE, for $0.99, as well as "It's a Snoopy &c...," at this Manna Tease store here.

Won't you please "like" The Manna Tease on facebooks here?

The lyrics and chords to "Jesus Christ is a big fat man" can be found in this earlier post here, and we practiced it on youtube here. Thank you, come again!

It's a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World - The Manna Tease

Earlier this March on Fox News, pundit & former Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY) made the following comment about kids these days:

If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that – I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don’t like them!

In our apartment, we have two pet rats, Doggy & Blakey. We already sing to little Doggy the Snoop Dogg songs "Doggy Dogg World" & "Gin & Juice" (with the lyric altered to "Scoop Doggy Dog" for purposes of scooping her up) from his classic 2001 album Doggystyle. Simpson's brilliant remark, tho, inspired the following song to sing to our rebellious rats, who just won't do what their elders want them to do. And dropping like a poop, it's the FIRST MANNA TEASE SINGLE, "It's a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World!"



If you require to download this song, it costs a dollar at this mp3 store.
Please "like" The Manna Tease on the Facebooks here!

Here are the lyrics & chords:

It’s a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World

G F# bmin
Scoop!

C D emin
She wants to get on floor, but she’s not allowed on floor!
C D emin
She wants to go explore, but floor could lead to door.
amin C/D G E7
Blake le Rat, you’re curious as a dolphin.
amin C/D G Cmaj7
You’re just a rat, but the world is in your tiny hand.

G F# bmin

Scoop! It’s Blakey!!

G F# bmin

Scoop! It’s Doggy!!

emin D Cmaj7 amin7/D G F# bmin

It’s a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World!

She’s snuggly & she’s small, she’s cuddly as a doll.
She’ll welcome my caresses with little doggy kisses.
Doggy Rat, stop drinking my wine!
You’re just a rat, but you’re drunk & feelin’ pretty damn fine.

G F# bmin

Scoop! It’s Doggy!!

G F# bmin

Scoop! It’s Blakey!!

emin D Cmaj7 amin7/D G bmin7

It’s a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World!

emin D Cmaj7 amin7/D G F# bmin

It’s a Snoopy Snoopy Poop Doggy Ratty Rat World!

Scoop! It’s Blakey!! &c...

© The Manna Tease 2011

UPDATE! Here's a live video, from Adobe Books, July 8th, 2011.

Mix Tape was lost! Vol. 54

9/11 Was An Inside Job: the song

Here is a demo rehearsal version of a spanking new song called "9/11 Was An Inside Job."

Here are the lyrics & chords:

9/11 Was An Inside Job

E C/E f#°7 G bmin C D D+
The male birth control pill has been suppressed by the FDA.
E C/E f#°7 G bmin C G D
George Bush was not the son of George Bush, but the son of Jack Kennedy.
E C/E f#°7 G bmin C D D+
John Lennon, John Lennon’s hiding in a compound near Harare, Zimbabwe.
E D C Bb amin D G
And if Obama was born in Hawaii, how come he can’t play the ukulele?

F amin9 C D E
9/11 was an inside job.
E C f#°7 G bmin C D D+
J. Edgar Hoover planned the whole thing with the Galactic Confederate mob,
C G
Where the mystery
C G
Is married to violence.
E C f#°7 G bmin C G D
Xenu bought his Douglas DC-8s from the armory of the United States,
C G

And the rest is history,

C G

The rest is silence.

The Rapture happened on Y2K, we just failed to capture it.

HIV/AIDs is not spread thru sex, but comes from drinking bad beer.

Fox News, Fox News is owned by Al Jazeera, but Oprah owns their pundits.

The works of William Shakespeare were written by another man also named William Shakespeare.

9/11 was an inside job, &c...

9/11 was an inside rim job.

Friends Around the Campfire on facebooks here. The Manna Tease on facebooks here.

Three Years Ago: Chronicles: Legendary Costume Designer Asks: Are You a Poet?

Today, on Three Years Ago, our legendary series where we repost a post from exactly three years ago, I've dug up a rare "biographical" blog entrée. Thank heavens this is an unusual occurrence:

_____________________________________________________________

Last week, I was rejected from a graduate school program I had applied to, so I vowed to go on a 48-hour Steve Zissou-style bender, wake up next week, draft a new plan for the next few years of my life, then set out to find the shark that ate my friend & destroy it. Friday Night began with several pitchers of Piña Coladas with my friend Heather from Interlochen. The basic recipe for our concoction is as follows:

Mix in blender:
-Half of a delicious fresh organic pneapple
-Half a handle of clear rum
-The meat of a fine mango
-Pineapple-coconut juice (I used the R.W. Knudsen brand, which conveniently sells this mix)
-About five strawberries
-Ice

Saturday, Heather, who was singing in the pit orchestra for the San Francisco Ballet's piece Eden/Eden, with music from Steve Reich's Three Tales (the one about Dolly the Sheep, robots, & cloning), was able to get three free tickets to the ballet. As a tangent, did you know that Dolly the Sheep was named after Dolly Parton because the gene from which they cloned her was from the host's mammary? As Parton said, "I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair & a heart underneath the boobs." There's interesting moments in Reich's score, but the ballet orchestra lacked the intense drive to keep the motion forward-propulsing for a full half hour. However, the original video opera was pretty mediocre, & rescuing the music & replacing the imagery with some amazing dancing & choreography is a great service.

Coincidentally, our friend Mr Golden was working next door at the Veteran's building repairing a model buffalo for an exhibition of ballet costumes designed by Willa Kim. After the ballet & some St Patrick's day beer, we crashed the art opening (as "volunteers", which we indeed ended up being.) One of my friends was free-wine-inspired to get herself a sugar-daddy in the guise of an rich older SF ballet alum. We missed the lecture, but when nonagenarian Willa Kim was being escorted out, the volunteers stopped her to tell her they had enjoyed working on her costumes. After some flattery, she turned to me & said:

Willa Kim: You look like you must be a poet!
Your hero: Well, uh, yes, I am.
Sycophantic escort: My, Ms. Kim, how prescient you are!
Willa Kim: He looks like a poet!
Your hero: It's all nonsense, tho. I mean, my poetry is nonsense.
Mr Golden: We're working on an epic with illuminations.
Willa Kim: Well, best of luck to you, &c.....

According to the imdb, Willa Kim is known by the nickname "Willa Killa". We then hit some schwanky downtown bars, & escorted my sloshy friend to the BART. The night ended by Mr Golden cleaning my clock at put-put golf at his Ingleside apartment.

Sunday Morning, I had arranged (despite a dead mobile phone) to meet a blind date at a famous Mimosa Bar in the Castro, The Lime. As a co-founder of the dogmatic evangelical religious cult, The Mimosa's Witnesses, I was morally bound to investigate this mecca of Mimosa transubstantiation, which has bottomless flutes for $7 at Sunday Brunch. The place is ridiculous & perfectly over-the-top, with a bright-green nightclub decor, thumping music, packed with revelers at 11 A.M. Many of our fellow witnesses looked far more L.A. than S.F., with plastic breasts, &c. We should tithe them.

Waiter: Hello, I haven't seen you here for awhile!
Your hero: I've never been here before. This is my first time.
Waiter: Really!? You look just like one of our regulars.
Your hero: No, perhaps I have a Doppelgänger? Or perhaps you're mistaking me for Ralf from Kraftwerk.

As for my blind date, she had enormous false eyelashes & drove an orange Mustang sports car! Anyway, we must plan an official service with the regular Mimosa's Witnesses at this bizarre Castro day-club. As I explained to my date, just like there are hippie Christians & conservative Christians, these fake-boobed coked-up proselytes were worshipping under the same, broad tent as the Tahoe Mimosa's Witnesses & the Berkeley Mimosa's Witnesses.

My day proceeded by sobering up at Philz Coffee in the Mission & having my clock cleaned at chess with Mr Golden. The San Francisco semi-regular Sacred Harp singing was at an episcopal church on Fair Oaks (one of the cutest streets in that neighborhood), & was well attended, including two members of the awesome group Anonymous 4 (who, with their background in St Hildegaard, now have two excellent albums of American harmony, & are working on continuing that project. Listen to them!) Singing exultantly, mission accomplished, & I'm now accepting suggestions for what to do next with my life.

Soon to be Erin-bound, I offer you this exciting Irish poem by J.M Synge, illustrated by yours truly.

Danny

Three Recordings of "Home in Pasadena"

I found this lovely youtube video from a blog called Ukulelia. It's the songwriter Harry Warren found at his house in Southern California by Ian Whitcomb, where they sing "Home in Pasadena" in duet. (Warren is also famous for writing "Chattanooga Choo-choo," "Jeepers Creepers," and like a zillion other famous Jazz Age songs.)


And here's two other youtubes of the song.

Oh, & did we mention that Miss Minnie Molly Mary, of The Manna Tease, has saved up enough money giving twennydolla haircuts to order an electric flea ukulele for our band. It's got the denim design. Hurrah!

drawrings

what the hell have I been doing instead of posting things to this blog? the answer would take days, pages, years, tomes! but one of the things I have been doing is drawing! here's some drawings!

David Lang's Cheating, Lying, Stealing on Rock Band 2

A strange amazing world we live in when David Lang's classic postminimalist piece "Cheating, Lying, Stealing" is available on ROCK BAND 2!? Normally with these guitar-heroey video games, I would grumble under my breath that the time spent mastering it could have been spent learning to play an actual instrument, but in this case, it's not only exposing unlikely audiences to contemporary classical music, but probably honing their arhythmic rhythm skills as well.

Blurb from Bang on a Can here.

Apologies: We're back, baby.

After years of living in the computer stone age... my barely crawling 11-yr-old computer has been retired, and I've been upgraded to a refurbished 7-yr-old computer! Anyway, my poor old dying beast could no longer handle basic tasks, so this blog should be more bloggable now that I have a functioning almost-modern tool. Golden showers!

Mix Tape was lost! Vol. 53

Hello

Welcome to the 53rd Mixtape was lost! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Invite some friends over, get some beer, have a Barbecue and listen to these fine tunes.

Song: Isa Bowman mp3

Here's a Friends Around the Campfire demo mp3 single of Isa Bowman, a song I wrote in January. I apologize for my sucky mastering & equalizing skills. If you require to download the mp3, it's available for a buck in the store widget below (over on the 'downloads' tab.)

Here's my earlier youtube version. The chords & lyrics (by Lewis Carroll) are here. Friends Around the Campfire on facebooks here. The Manna Tease on facebooks here. Bye!

Auto-Tune brings Harmony to the Middle East: "We will dance to ‘Zenga-Zenga’ in the square"

This New York Times article has everything: Arab-Israeli relations, Revolution, Qaddafi, T-Pain, & naked dancing girls. I'll quote it in full:

JERUSALEM — A YouTube clip mocking Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi’s megalomania is fast becoming a popular token of the Libya uprising across the Middle East. And in an added affront to Colonel Qaddafi, it was created by an Israeli living in Tel Aviv.
Enlarge This Image

Noy Alooshe, 31, an Israeli journalist, musician and Internet buff, said he saw Colonel Qaddafi’s televised speech last Tuesday in which the Libyan leader vowed to hunt down protesters “inch by inch, house by house, home by home, alleyway by alleyway,” and immediately identified it as a “classic.”

“He was dressed strangely, and he raised his arms” like at a trance party, Mr. Alooshe said Sunday in a telephone interview, referring to the gatherings that feature electronic dance music. Then there were Colonel Qaddafi’s words with their natural beat.

Mr. Alooshe spent a few hours at the computer, using pitch corrector technology to set the speech to the music of “Hey Baby,” a song by the American rapper Pitbull, featuring another artist, T-Pain. Mr. Alooshe titled it “Zenga-Zenga,” echoing Colonel Qaddafi’s repetition of the word zanqa, Arabic for alleyway.

By the early hours of Wednesday morning, Mr. Alooshe had uploaded the electro hip-hop remix to YouTube, and he began promoting it on Twitter and Facebook, sending the link to the pages of young Arab revolutionaries. By Sunday night, the original clip had received nearly 500,000 hits and had gone viral.

Mr. Alooshe, who at first did not identify himself on the clip as an Israeli, started receiving enthusiastic messages from all around the Arab world. Web surfers soon discovered that he was a Jewish Israeli from his Facebook profile — Mr. Alooshe plays in a band called Hovevey Zion, or the Lovers of Zion — and some of the accolades turned to curses. A few also found the video distasteful.

But the reactions have largely been positive, including a message Mr. Alooshe said he received from someone he assumed to be from the Libyan opposition saying that if and when the Qaddafi regime fell, “We will dance to ‘Zenga-Zenga’ in the square.”

The original clip features mirror images of a scantily clad woman dancing along to Colonel Qaddafi’s rant. Mr. Alooshe said he got many requests from Web surfers who asked him for a version without the dancer so that they could show it to their parents, which he did.

Mr. Alooshe speaks no Arabic, though his grandparents were from Tunisia. He said he used Google Translate every few hours to check messages and remove any offensive remarks.

Israelis have been watching the events in Libya unfold with the same rapt attention as they have to the revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt.

In the past, Colonel Qaddafi has proposed that Palestinian refugees should return en masse by ship to Israel’s shores, and that Israel and the Palestinian territories should be combined into one state called Isratine.

Mr. Alooshe said he was a little worried that if the Libyan leader survived, he could send one of his sons after him. But he said it was “also very exciting to be making waves in the Arab world as an Israeli.”

As one surfer wrote in an Arabic talkback early Sunday, “What’s the problem if he’s an Israeli? The video is still funny.” He signed off with the internationally recognized “Hahaha.”