I'm Going Home

Farewell! my friends! my habitat can process no more guano,

Houris & Seraphim are burning rubber in Myanmar's forests,
And I don't care to stay here long.
The yardman in the dooryard, less of an apocalypse than a Clintonian tornado,
And Jesus Christ & Malcolm X are smiling & beating their chests,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Ride me & arise up, Christians: Dorothy is affirming your hopes, there is truth in what the middlemen don't know.


I failed in my ventures, the landlord is just waddling upstairs,
I am sober from my saliva to my bone marrow,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Television doctors are prescribing cures, the second star is lit with flares,
Be careful! the cats from El Camino Real to San Pablo Avenue are rabid & feral,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Hide me till I'm hidden in heaven! I trust that the Saint's Justice will provide me with a decent barrister, I'm ready to go.


Please purge me of bestial instincts, even the ones involving partisan politics,
Like when the Minister of the Exchequer was found with a herd of bachelor impala,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Urgency is required, the sorority girls have exchanged bunkbeds with the lunatics,
The suicide eucalyptus trees are the only thing the Koalas have adapted to swallow,
And I don't care to stay here long.
So Columbus was only guilty of genocide, I deride no lower caste for their diseases, where he is become leaden popcorn at the greatest show.


I tried & tried, but computer-generated monsters are forming a mob,
Screaming with torches outside every wall of my mansion,
And I don't care to stay here long.
I love Marion Davies, I will defend her honor until the newspapers throb,
Silly string, my pet, has made this colony vulnerable to Southern Inuit Expansion,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Cherubic legions are my bodyguards, my home is thru the rim of Uranus, I am going, I am going where I won't need my mind.


Do you hear the music that my mother heard in Nineteen-Forty-Five?
The same recording with the same hornets with cornets is playing,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Touchdown!? It's easy to get worked up & stressed out about being too alive,
I look forward to dancing with Sun Ra & men of every color & swaying & praying,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Turn down that radio, a fence has been drawn around each song, stones & rocks of wrath, too cruel to be some kind.


Enkidu's priestess-harlot can hold my hair back, & the seamen are seasick,
Toe-tapping menaces are invading our privacy,
And I don't care to stay here long.
What are the consequences? Between frozen peas & lunar monsoons, if geodesic,
I reckon, if you count illegitimates, I have no children to commit intellectual piracy,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Coats of feathers rot too fast, butterfly wings are too too transient, I will find a way to fly with iron & the ocean will make me blind.


Berate me from four sides with contradicting advice about parenting,
My second-born is transsexual, but it is not a failure of corporate identity,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Loosen your belts, the high-fructose white grape juice concentrate is fermenting,
Eventually the sense pillow will explode, my preacher will explain & pity,
And I don't care to stay here long.
The are crumbs on the dessert plate, the bill has been settled, the waitress has been tipped thirty percent, the taxi is waiting outside.


Are there answers in the unbarred spiral galaxy? I'm not concerned with just the meaning of life,
Scotsmen & espionage, I feel for all these various things with needy attachment,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Don't hesitate to sodomize on my behalf, I've long since swapped my favorite wife,
And of egg-laying mammals & of echidna, I hold no grudges about design or millenniums misspent,
And I don't care to stay here long.
When we were carpooling up to Marin County, lovely ladies of the morning, it was good to decrease the traffic by one car, I am in agony & ecstasy to share your ride.


There is mold on my heinie, spores in my lungs, funny guys dittying ditties at the public house,
Mastering her domain, she took to the precipice with vigor befitting a presidential candidate,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Where are the Vanderbilts & Gateses & Rockefellers & Carnegies & Buffets when you need them the most?
They're playing hold-'em in the press box with their omnipotent creator, but I'll be riding camels with Fate,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Lerner & Lowe composed my whole hymnody of redemption, and altho I'd never use the word "chaos" in a long poem, I'll report & you decide.


Pop the champagne cork at the three-quarter mark, the resolution on the snakiest limb,
And Lincoln may be shot dead, but my speech-writer is no Democrat,
And I don't care to stay here long.
And Mizraim begat Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim,
But I begot rhythm neither Jew nor Muslim can shake a stuffed puppy at!
And I don't care to stay here long.
Are there reasons to prophesize to America, beyond what remains of the identical plains, past poor frozen Saskatchewan, with or without Germans in rented Winnebagos?


Angels, angels, I hear you escaping from where I wish to escape to,
Let's shout out to our people, & Charles Mason & Jeremiah Dixon,
And I don't care to stay here long.
From Cape Codpiece towards the Pacific Theater, the girl is drowning in dew,
No longer is it necessary, necessity or sex therapy, I'm out of the quicksand,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Noise, earthquakes, & tiny children lost at the circus, my younger brother is feeling her boobs & imagining them larger, I am feeling the earth & imagining myself where the day goes.


It's important to have ambition, a cool mission to pursue,
From grief & woe, from yesterday, from Eritrea, my soul shall fly,
And I don't care to stay here long.
I recommend to my proselytes to keep repeating what you say & do,
And one day you also will be remembered, & be as famous as the day I die,
And I don't care to stay here long.
Right up around the fake horizon, way up beneath the judgment, the universe at universal room temperature, every color smushed into a huge gray, like the death of play-dough, for I don't care to stay here long.

Rhythm of the Circus

When our caravan takes to the interstate, I remind my children that there are millions of trucks in Ethiopia starving.
I am the most proud to introduce,
The summer is coming on slower every year,
Now that we've settled the lawsuit about pinhead abuse,
I expect each cheer to bring to Mademoiselle Coyote a tear.
There are three rings around the furthest planet, our drunk journalist's fetus.
The human cannonball refuses to steal bread even when her daughters are lost in the timing.
Louis Moreau Gottschalk has been kissed
In front of his sixteen pianos by Misses Margaret Thatcher;
You know, I used to date an aerialist,
So, where are the safety nets of our nation to catch her?
And the bass-baritone ringmaster, who knows of no better way to cheat us,
Like he cheats this circus, than to campaign for elephant rights on the back of his omnibus.

Guadalajara! Jalisco! Mariachi! How I yearn for the days of fermenting agave & the girls, skinny with large eyes!
There is murmuring of a rebellion,
The antipodist has been armed with a Kalashnikov,
The carnies are in caves in the hills eating marinated scallion,
The riot police have been choreographed by Mikhail Whatshisname.
The strangest rumor on the wrath vine is about Mabel's supposed husbandry of large catfish.
And when it was discovered that Fucík the Gladiator was copyrighted, the band had to improvise.
With my ukulele, I step out on the rope,
And ululate for all Sacramento to heed,
My balanced prophecy is part hip-hop & part artichoke,
I miss her, but I have several hundred poodles to feed.
And the financial executives, who are drinking scotch at the Hooter's in Cavendish,
Like they drink this circus, are reflecting on a consolidation of televised daytime news which would foreclose on those nouveau Swedish.

The fleas have gotten into the knife thrower's colon, like the yeast sideshow in my inner-refrigerator.
Alice had never seen so many clowns
Without make-up when she fell off the caboose;
By late September, we'd been to all the meretricious towns,
And Alice was hand-feeding me rotten fig juice.
We will end this show when you find a better one. The bearded lady is shaving her legs.
I'm against walls & Jenny Ruth's against cages. China & Russia are rapidly approaching by freighter.
When is the last time you visited your grandmother?
Her retirement community has been infected by contract bridge.
I want to amaze your sensations like no other,
The strongmen & midgets are waiting just over the next ridge,
And the audience, who can't see your mistakes if you can't see their mistakes,
Like they can't see this circus, are at home arguing about whose turn it was to buy eggs.

E-mails: Hyphy Sketchbook.

Date:	Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:25:40 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"Whyphy" <_@itwaslost.org>
Subject:	Democrats Fail
To:	Liam Joseph Olaf Worland Golden" <_____@yahoo.com>
CC:	"Virtue" <________@yahoo.com>

Elle,

You comin' over here after work? Life is sweet out here.

I penned out a hyphy lyric in my pad when I woke up. Any opinions?

Whyphy Wraph Attak

John Steinbeck, John Steinbeck, what the feck is his line abeck?
Do you respeck his condition? Tradition & confusion do I need to proteck?
The wine in hell is better than the wine in Quebeck.
The fusion of verse & vision is an oriental curse. My
Note-pad is eating out her
Quotidian fad, & beating up her
Doting dad, but it's alright my piss won't make the
Floaters mad.
Ghost ride the escalata' up to Mayor Bates' hata' flava'.
Whyphy representin' Berkeley Hyphy, do it in diapers, do it for yaper.
I refuse to ghost ride a helicopter,
I refuse to abuse a velociraptor,
I used to use an inhabilitator,
But I'm in AA for that shit.
I've chosen to chose a diet of fermented grapes,
I've risen to the tune of quiet videotapes,
I'm losin' my cocoon & becoming the butterfly of the apes,
And mostly I'm A-okay for it.

_______________________________________________________________

Date:	Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:50:08 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"James" <_@itwaslost.org>
Subject:	Blues
To:	"James" <_______________@yahoo.com>

James,

I had a dream about the bluegrass festival last night. Hoo-yah. It seems Rachel Eley will be with us.

[...]

I've been reading Stephen Jay Gould. I like his subject matter, but I've never met an essayist so cock-sure. He has one whole essay about how he was right & the scientific community was wrong about three news items, & he tries to turn it into a philosophical point about diverging world views. I'll diverge your world-view, Stephen Jay Gould.

Did you ever read this poem? I've invented a new style of prophetic nonsense doggerel. It's called Pre-Cursorism. I can't wait to denounce the Cursorists of selling out & misconstruing the idealogical foundations.

[...]

I have a 21-year-old hippie girl couchsurfer right now. She travels with a bag of beautiful fabrics which she intends to make into a patchwork girl hallowe'en costume. It's good to have ambition.

Also, I've been hanging out with some Demographers. You might meet them.

Cheers, hurry on back now,
James

Babelizing Selected Verses, Part One of Infinite

This is an interesting website. "Babelize" is a process which online-translates thru many languages, eventually back to English. My friends, attempting to revivify the White East Bay Hyphy Hip-Hop Ghost Ride The Whip movement, found http://tashian.com/multibabel/ as a way to kivk the lyrics of the future.... but there are other uses for babelization. Especially at Five O'Clock A.M. with one's own poetry. Forgive me, peons!

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"What little I can do with a rusty bicycle, some reason to act all righteous."
-Lift Him Up

Babelized:
"Which oxidated the bicycle can give little to form with one, relation of safe transformation worked exactly."

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"He ascends a mountain of fine light, it’s all been done before in particles."
-Celebrity Canto

Babelized:
"The whole rose is light/write following and this part of the particle mountain, that one is good he ingualmente before the station of the work."

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"Where is the Theater of the Judges? Where on this spec is heaven’s edge?"
-Rhythm of the Bard's Dilemma

Babelized:
"Is the theater a judge of the transformation relation? Is the edge of the sky the section puts them in the effect of the transformation relation?"

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"I loved my sexual organs, but they've turned into bamboo, which has been eaten by pandaids."
-Extant Prayer

Babelized:
"Master to civil employee reproduktive of the body, but it modified itself could of pandaids in the bamboo eat."

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"Go study the natural cycles for a solution, and leave the praying to the more devout."
-Prophecy for an Antepenultimate Doom

Babelized:
"Normal bringing of the circulation for the solution is, compares reverently with the pagination."

Original Beautiful Poetry:
"But I will write a silent five act play, I will sustain by eating locally."
-Song of the Theater

Babelized:
"But I write a calm game of action five, that I support with the place that I eat."

Extant Prayer

I was fighting with him a lot, like two huge male failures,
But I'll end my analogies there.
My last pair of pants, the one with the busted fly, has been sent back to the tailor's,
And suddenly, all those trips down the grocery aisle seem truly fulfilling.
Where are the courtrooms?
Where are the judges with fabulous white hair?
I will return to earth, God Willing.

We've been imploring desperately silently to an invisible superman
For four score years.
Now we're in the fourth dimension, we've vindicated each detail of his grand plan:
Dr Samuel Johnson has confirmed that he is allergic to his son's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle band-aids.
Does the boy have to scratch up his knees so often?
Every time we have this conflict you succeed with tears.
I loved my sexual organs, but they've turned into bamboo, which has been eaten by pandaids.

My soul-mate was considerably older than me, the wet nurse of a dead dentist,
Otherwise, she was intense.
She had the jaw of an Australopithecus afarensis,
But don't mistake her for some movie star from the 1940's!
I have learned to believe in social contracts.
Where my faith ends, the railroad to the silver country begins.
My treasure, do not abuse me, & do not confuse me with Jorge Luis Borges.

Catering Conversation: Candles in a Barn

The premise for this conversation is thus: We were the temp staff for a wedding at a Napa vineyard / horse farm. I was separated from the other catering staff for several hours, while they passed out champagne & hors d'oeuvres to the wedding guests, & I lit hundreds & hundreds of candles in the barn where the reception would take place. The baker had driven up from Berkeley with a beautiful (but ultimately bland) chocolate cake, & this one lady who worked there was running around, sneaking white wine, fixing lots of small things. We'll call her "Paulette".

Baker: This all just looks beautiful.
Your hero: You know, there's a reason why you don't often see this sight.
Baker: What?
Your hero: Of thousands of candles in a barn.
Paulette: Ah, but this is a concrete barn. The candles distract from the concrete. [Note: there was still a lot of hay, & a strong wind blowing thru.]
Your hero (more of a statement than a question): You ever heard of Bessie?
Baker: Ah, ha.
Paulette: No, who is she?
Baker: The Chicago Fire.
Paulette: Was she a caterer?
Your hero: No, she was a cow.
Paulette: A what?
Your hero: Cow. A Cow. Bessie was a cow.

Rhymes

The news is made of paper,

Paper is made of wood,

Trees are made from sun & dirt,

The sun is made of hot gas,

Dirt is made of minerals & worms,

So what's the news?

A senator was caught trying to get a blow-job in a bathroom.