Columbia Canoeing Song

Columbia Canoeing Song

Jamie's in the same boat.
From Alexandria down a meaningful river,
Write down these words & kill them with a quiver.
Go down towards places less remote:
And ask nicely & I'll allow you to quote me on my thistly artichoke-flower parade float.

Buttocks & buttocks & metal in the brains,
Order the ESB & pine for young Liverpool.
From the hour the dwarfs burnt up the Elementary School
To the ice neath Nebraska's forgotten plains,
Step on these Steppes & defrost these pagans.

Row, Jamie, your freedom's downstream!
Drown Broadway with your acidic urine!
Learn how to complete your father's sentences, not your mother's cryin',
Jamie, not your mother's dark cryin' - emancipate the supporting beam,
And run out into the field, you will be clean & weaned of factory steam.

There was a time, remember,
When girls wore black bangs & tucked their pants in,
And you would always lose my wallet when we went out dancin'!
Turnips on the breath & for everyone a nasty answer.
And for the permanent camper, a savory dessert & a flasher.

The constellations control the lottery.
One corporation owns all the coolest bars in town.
The mayor was assassinated in unfolding clouds thru the window of his Brownstone.
I hate the shorter members of the fire department.
Bury me in dead mayflies, or, when in season, your hosiery!

Our Jamie's run out of creek:
The meatless alternative is more often tastier,
You're visiting long after your friend has left for Bulgaria.
Resurrect these words & write them as I speak,
Finally, & let's recall this shithole's mayor & replace him with some unelected freak.