Florian Freyer Makes Contact

I admit that I thought that Mr. Freyer was fucking with me, but I couldn't figure out to what ends...

7:19 PM Florian: dude, do you have a sec?
me: yeah
7:20 PM Florian: sweet!i need you as a native speaker!
me: haha
ok
Florian: here's the deal
i'll give you some proverbs and you have to...
7:21 PM ...give me the correct proverbs because they're WRONG
ok?
me: ok...
I'll see what I can do
7:22 PM Florian: no. 1:
I can’t spell to save my loaf
(they might not make sense at all...)
7:23 PM me: do you need this for something?
loaf should be life
Florian: haha, i knew it!
yeah, i'll tell you in a sec!
i thought it's LOVE
ok, next one:
7:24 PM You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t eat it too.
me: haha
but you can't make it drink
Florian: haha! i love it
me: I like yours better
7:25 PM Florian: no. 3
I’m always crying over spilt chickens before they’re hatched.
me: well, there's "Don't cry over spilt milk" and "don't count your chickens before they're hatched"
7:26 PM Florian: NICE! you're da man!
me: what's it for?
Florian: no. 4: Yeah, you give ‘em an inch, it’s worth two in the bush.
that's the last one!
7:27 PM me: "you give 'em an inch and they take a mile" or "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"
7:28 PM Florian: wow - i'm impressed!
ok, i'm gonna use this video for my english class to introduce grammar mistakes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3p4UX47WfM&feature=player_embedded
7:29 PM unfortunately i had no clue what the wrong proverbs meant...
you've been a great help, really
7:30 PM thanks, sir
me: there's also "you can't have your cake and eat it too"
but I hate that proverb
Florian: ah, cheers
so they're all mixed up
7:31 PM don't like friends - the show - either
me: right
Florian: but i thought this might be a nice intro, ISN'T IT?
me: yeah
what's your class?
7:32 PM Florian: well, i would have preferred a scene from arrested development
i teach dem bastards. 11th grade.
me: ouch
7:33 PM Florian: no worries
me: thanks for the exercise in proverbs
7:34 PM Florian: haha, you should come tomorrow
me: I'd love to
7:35 PM Florian: dude, i need to prepare this lesson now. thanks heaps for you're help. whenever you're in trouble finding the right german proverb - i'll be there for you!
7:36 PM me: don't think I won't collect on that
good luck
Florian: thx