Correspondences: Craziest Couchsurfing Request Ever

That there's some more classic Whales Standing Up art from Mr Olaf Mary, circa 2004.
I've had nothing but good experiences with couchsurfing.com. I've stayed with lovely hosts in Europe, & hosted lovely travelers from Europe, North & South America. Sometimes tho, I get a request from a crazy person, & I think this one wins the award for craziest request. It was from a 20-year-old girl from Nova Scotia:

Okay. I am leaving _____ and coming to Berkeley to

set up camp. I am a crazy girl but I do have a lot of

guts. I am going to run my own cafe/resto/bar and it's

going to be government funded. Why the hell not? I have

a small debt to pay but what I would like to do is pay

for a massage course which I have also done in _____.

I need to be able to practise legally with a good

reputation in order to support myself while...Anyway I

am looking for a room in an artist commmunity/house.

Hippy, environmentalist. Forward mided people only no

scumbag student know it alls. No beurocratic bullshit.

I like clutter but not dirt. Not smelly. I want to be

able to pay $300 a month and be around

twenty-thirty-eight year olds. Only. If possible. Not

interested in having sex, already got somebody. But

really what I will be doing is starting a herd of wild

horses. I will be owning my own property soon and

living happily ever after. The end. Still need my

driver's liscence. Want have dogs off leashes and

outdoor cats. Goats are better lawnmowers than

lawnmowers. Etc. My mother. did this in Ohio where I

was born she did it well and I suppose she's happy

enough. I like it there. Good enough. anyway=I am

looking for a place to stay until I find my

room/roommate cafe job artist/activist housing

situation but no ugly minded people no bullies. I like

travellors but I don't want to live in a punk house.

Punk's dead happened in the 80s. We're starting new

now. Time to stop bitching and get on with it. So

anyway. If you are at all available for a chat on the

phone I am thinking of leaving on the twenty-ninth.

Could we please chat? I think I will be staying only

for three days at a time until I find what I am looking

for. I will be flying to SAn Fran and then taking the

bus to Berkeley. Will not have much stuff but will come

prepared. I'll need to buy a phone right away so if you

know of a cheap pay as you go phone right on. Let me

know if you can help me out at all. thanks a lot man.

bunches. -S_____