Temporary Live-In Girlfriend

I see a lot of these on Craigslist, but man, this one is kinda weird.

Looking for a gorgeous, brilliant, sensitive girlfriend to live with me at least temporarily in my North Berkeley shack. Must have a sense of adventure, awkward hairdo, frame-worthy smile, a great ass, approachable creative goals, and endearing bed fidgets or pre-sleep "tells." Required experience: - Proven ability to live happily within almost no means - 4+ years of pretending to love snow - Mild fascination with, or at least tolerance of, narration of daily activities through childish sing-song This is a volunteer gig. Compensation and accommodations come in the form of copious pillows, daily pancakes (as requested), foot rubs, morning sex, frequent walks around this beautiful town, and loving partnership indefinitely. Oh, and you can make me juice sometimes too if you want.