samamidon
olaf mary, teach me about BEARDS
OlafMary
we can start with the history of beards: beards go way back. before history.
samamidon
thank you olafmary. question # 2: how do i grow one?
OlafMary
I thought this might be the central "thrust" of your inquiry. Talk to genetic engineers. Go back in Time, make Peter eat more spinach. Wait.
OlafMary
option 2: cut some hair from your head, apply one side of double-sided tape to upper lip, affix hair to other side. Wait for your cheeks.
OlafMary
Wait for your cheeks to respond from the encouragement.
OlafMary
from? to? of? also find out what brand of whiskey Ulysses S Grant drank and drink it. Wait.
OlafMary
option 3: buy a floppy hat, a gray suit, and some big ears. then write a really long poem called, "Song of Myself." Wait.
OlafMary
look to other parts of the body as possible beard habitats. perhaps your pubic hair is a "penis beard." maybe your armpit hair is
SSandrigon
How to beard #5: Hold your cheeks against dry ice for 5⅞ hours. If this doesn't work, you are a damn fool.
SSandrigon
How to beard #7: Apply to the circus & when the there aren't any openings for the pinheads or strong men, become the bearded lady.
February 28, 2009
How To Beard: Suggestions thru the Tweetosphere
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